American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” The Japanese military attack…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home lockdowns. Many people did not get enough exercise and ate a lot, gaining weight similar to a college student's "freshman 15"…
Henny Youngman (1906-1998), a comedian known as the "king of the one-liners," grew up in New York City. One of his popular one-liners was: "My dad was the town drunk. Usually…
A "carbuncle" has nothing to do with "carbs" and "uncles," but there have been puns. "Is that your parent's brother feeding you pasta?" was posted on…
"Aunt Chovy" (or "Aunt Chovie") is a pun on "anchovy." "'My Uncle Jim is a great fish-eater.' 'So's your Aunt Chovy'" was printed in…
"Croissant" sounds a bit like "cross aunt." "Yes, if we were in Paris, we'd deserve a French Toast."/"And if our uncle's wife got mad at us, we'd…
A joke about stained teeth was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 23, 2020. "My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me 'Do you smoke or drink coffee?' I said ...…
Lemon meringue pie shouldn't be confused with lemming meringue pie, but there are jokes. "Q. What is yellow and white, and throws itself off the dining table? A. A lemming meringue"…
A jocular "diet plan" was posted on X/Twitter by MELapalooza 🐈⚽️🎶🍾 on August 10, 2025: "My diet plan is sometimes when im eating chips I drop some on the floor and I…
"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room" is a jocular one-line dessert saying that has been printed on images. "Tom introduced the concept of dinner stomach…
"Lactose intolerant” is sometimes jocularly called “black toast intolerant.” "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant" was posted on the newsgroup…
People are sometimes advised to eat more “greens” (such as vegetables). Mint chocolate ice cream -- which is "green" -- is usually not part of that diet, but there are jokes. "My…
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- cleanjokesMy doctor told me to cut down on sodium. (self.cleanjokes)submitted March 15, 2018 by chacham2I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
Supposedly, doctors sometimes advise patients to drink something (wine, carrot juice, lemonade or something else) after taking a hot bath. A popular joke was first published in The Humorist…
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
"I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking," New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) said in his act. "Now I drink in front of a mirror." It's not…
A "pizza saver" (also called a "pizza table" or "pizza stool") is a small plastic table-like object in the middle of a pizza in a pizza box, to prevent the lid from…
"My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With a biscuit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An emotional support animal is usually a live animal,…
"My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With a biscuit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An emotional support animal is usually a live animal,…