“Jell-O is the candy corn of Thanksgiving”
Various foods have been called "the candy corn of Thanksgiving." That is to say, like candy corn, it's a food mainly eaten on the holiday (as with candy corn and Halloween) and at no…
“Jello is just boneless bones”
Wikipedia: Jell-OJell-O is a variety of gelatin desserts (fruit-flavored gels), puddings, and no-bake cream pies. The original Jell-O gelatin dessert (genericized as jello) is the signature of the…
“Jellybeans imply the existence of peanut butter beans”
There are jellybeans, but no peanut butter beans. "I like jelly beans, but infinitely better would be peanut butter beans" was posted on Twitter by Ben Cobb on April 4, 2011. "Ok I…
“Jerk Chicken: Shut the fuck up. Chicken Tender: *just starts crying*”
A conversation between "jerk chicken" (a chicken that's a jerk) and "chicken tender" (a chicken with tender feelings) probably would not go well. This was posted on Twitter…
“Jesus holds up the bread…” (joke)
A joke about the transubstantiation of Jesus -- adding mayonnaise -- was posted by huntigula on Twitter on January 5, 2015: [Jesus at Last Supper]*breaks bread* This is my body*pours wine* This is…
“Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he’s the light of the world. I do it and I’m ‘making Thanksgiving awkward’”
A joke about Thanksgiving dinner guests was posted on X/Twitter by Steve vs. Ninjas on February 7, 2017, and this received over 1,800 likes: "Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and…
“Jesus took the wheel and now there’s no cheese on the charcuterie”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus turns water into wine. I turn wine into vomit”
The Gospel of John describes a miracle of Jesus -- the transformation of water into wine. "RT @jenfunkyjen Jesus turned water into wine. I'm going to turn decade-old boxed wine into…
“Jesus, take the cheese wheel”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus, take the wheel of cheese”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Jesus: *takes the wheel* The Cheesemakers: Sonofabitch.”
The song "Jesus, Take the Wheel" (2005), recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, is not about a cheese wheel, but there are jokes. "JESUS TAKE THE CHEESE…
“Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31”
"Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31" (or in a leap year, "Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31") is a jocular saying that has…
“Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31”
"Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31" (or in a leap year, "Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31") is a jocular saying that has…
“Joined a ‘fear of buffets’ help group. I was warned against signing up, but I couldn’t help myself”
At a buffet, one helps one's self. "Just been to a 'fear of buffets' help group. I was warned against signing up but I couldn't help myself" is a joke that was posted…
“Jokes about German sausage are the wurst”
Wurst has the worst puns. "German sausage ads are the wurst" was cited on Twitter on September 23, 2009. "German sausage puns are the wurst" was cited on Twitter on December 4,…
“Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar—Demerara”
"Demerara" sugar sounds like "them are rarer." "There aren't that many jokes about white sugar. But jokes about brown sugar....demerara! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! credit to…
“Jonathan and Granny Smith fell in love and lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Judge, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“Junior Mints are just mini York Peppermint Patties”
Junior Mints have been compared to York Peppermint Patties. "Junior Mints are delicious, but in the high school of candy the York Peppermint Patty remains the Senior Mint" was posted on…
“Junior Mints are just small York Peppermint Patties”
Junior Mints have been compared to York Peppermint Patties. "Junior Mints are delicious, but in the high school of candy the York Peppermint Patty remains the Senior Mint" was posted on…