“If you’re praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen”
"If you are praying for a blizzard, please go to Dairy Queen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Dairy Queen restaurants feature a dairy dessert called a…
“If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated”
"If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated" is a popular sports adage. It's often recommended to drink water before, during and after a workout. The origin of the adage…
“If you’re waiting for a sign that you should have a glass of wine, this is it”
"If you're looking/waiting for a sign that you should have a glass of wine, this is it" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images, especially bar and…
“If you’ve ever wondered what angry lettuce tastes like, kale might be right for you”
Kale has been called "angry lettuce." "Quoteworthy from today's @DennisDMZ: 'Kale is like angry lettuce'" was posted on X/Twitter by Angela on April 20, 2010.…
“If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly”
"If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The long-time slogan of M&M's…
“If you’re cold, they’re cold too, Bring them inside and warm them up”
“If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside" is a saying about pets that has been printed on many images. Some photos joke on the saying with non-pets, by showing an alligator or a…
“If you’re eating food so amazing it makes you forget about the terrible roads you drive on… You might be in Louisiana”
"If you’re eating food so amazing it makes you forget about the terrible roads you drive on… You might be in Louisiana" was posted on Facebook by Lagniappe Meme Company on October 14,…
“If you’re Italian and put ranch dressing on your pizza, you’re legally obligated to remove the vowel from the end of your last name”
Many Italians consider it to be culinary sacrilege when Americans put ranch dressing on pizza. "People who put ranch on pizza and other Italian centric meals are not people you wanna trust…
“If you’re planning to drink tonight, please remember to wander around your house responsibly”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many people to celebrate New Year's Eve at home. The usual cautions of "stay safe" and "drink responsibly" didn't…
“If you’re trying to cut carbs, use a knife”
Many people try to cut carbohydrates from their diets. These people are not literally trying to cut carbs, but there are jokes. "It's time to cut carbs. I will be henceforth using a knife…
“If you’ve gained weight and nobody wants to mention it, you are the elephant in the room”
The saying "the elephant in the room" is a metaphor for a big issue that people ignore (often on purpose). A joke on the saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 13, 2019:…
“If your coffee needs 4 pumps of syrup, whipped cream, and a drizzle… congratulations, you ordered dessert with anxiety”
Many people order a coffee that seems more like a dessert. This was posted on Facebook by Coffee on March 27, 2026: "If your coffee needs 4 pumps of syrup, whipped cream, and a drizzle……
“If your coffee order requires more than four words, you’re part of the problem”
Many people believe that coffee orders should be simple. "If your coffee order requires more than five words to describe, I probably think you're an idiot" was posted on Twitter by…
“If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup”
"If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The line has been cited in print since at…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If it can’t go bad, it’s bad for you”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If it can’t, it’s probably not”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…
“If your food can go bad, it’s good for you. If your food can’t go bad, it’s not good for you”
"If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If your food can't go bad, it's not good for you" (also "If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't…
“If your food says ‘Enjoy’ at the end of the cooking instructions, you can’t complain to the company if you didn’t like it…”
A joke about cooking instructions was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on December 6, 2022: "If your food says 'Enjoy' at the end of the cooking instructions, you can't…
“If your hands don’t look like you just delivered a baby after eating wings…not enough hot sauce”
"If your hands don't look like you just delivered a baby when you finish eating wings....not enough hot sauce" is a jocular saying that has been popular on Twitter. The saying was…
“If your personal choices have a victim, it is no longer a personal choice”
"If your personal choices have a victim, it is no longer a personal choice" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "If your personal choices have a victim, it is no…