“My dad’s brother eats loads of pasta. He’s my carbuncle”
A "carbuncle" has nothing to do with "carbs" and "uncles," but there have been puns. "Is that your parent's brother feeding you pasta?" was posted on…
“My dad’s sister is a fish. She’s my Aunt Chovy”
"Aunt Chovy" (or "Aunt Chovie") is a pun on "anchovy." "'My Uncle Jim is a great fish-eater.' 'So's your Aunt Chovy'" was printed in…
“My dad’s sister works in a Paris bakery and hates it. She’s a cross aunt”
"Croissant" sounds a bit like "cross aunt." "Yes, if we were in Paris, we'd deserve a French Toast."/"And if our uncle's wife got mad at us, we'd…
“My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me, ‘Do you smoke or drink coffee?’”
A joke about stained teeth was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 23, 2020. "My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me 'Do you smoke or drink coffee?' I said ...…
“My dessert just threw itself off the table. It was a lemming meringue pie”
Lemon meringue pie shouldn't be confused with lemming meringue pie, but there are jokes. "Q. What is yellow and white, and throws itself off the dining table? A. A lemming meringue"…
“My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room”
"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room" is a jocular one-line dessert saying that has been printed on images. "Tom introduced the concept of dinner stomach…
“My doctor advised me against eating very burnt bread. I am black toast intolerant”
"Lactose intolerant” is sometimes jocularly called “black toast intolerant.” "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant" was posted on the newsgroup…
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
“My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- cleanjokesMy doctor told me to cut down on sodium. (self.cleanjokes)submitted March 15, 2018 by chacham2I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
“My doctor told me to drink a glass of wine after a hot bath…” (joke)
Supposedly, doctors sometimes advise patients to drink something (wine, carrot juice, lemonade or something else) after taking a hot bath. A popular joke was first published in The Humorist…
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror”
"I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking," New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) said in his act. "Now I drink in front of a mirror." It's not…
“My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With a biscuit”
"My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With a biscuit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An emotional support animal is usually a live animal,…
“My emotional support animal is a fried chicken”
"My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With a biscuit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. An emotional support animal is usually a live animal,…
“My fall look this year is drinking my coffee on an empty stomach & visibly shaking until lunch”
"my fall look this year is drinking my coffee on an empty stomach & visibly shaking until lunch time" was posted on Facebook by Jennifer Woodside on December 28, 2018. The saying is…
“My family told me to get help for my drinking…so I hired a bartender”
"My family told me to get help for my drinking...so I hired a bartender" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "My family said ‘get help for my drinking’…
“My farts always smell like butterscotch. They smell like butt or scotch”
The New York-based television comedy sketch show Saturday Night Live did a parody ad of actor Gary Busey for Directv, on a show that aired on October 11, 2003: "Here's a little piece of…
“My father’s answer to everything was alcohol. He didn’t drink; he was just shit at quizzes”
"My father's answer to everything was alcohol. He didn't drink; he was just shit at quizzes" is a jocular saying about alcohol. "I've got a friend whose answer to…
“My favorite animal is steak”
"My favorite animal is steak" is a line that has been credited to American author Fran Lebowitz and reprinted in many books about food and humorous quotations. Lebowitz probably…
“My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine”
"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine" is a work saying that has been printed in many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2014. “Coffee is my favorite…
“My favorite color is food”
"My favorite color is food” is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the person loves food so much, a favorite color is a taste. "My mama…