“I’m not fat—just short for my weight”
Height and weight charts have led to the jocular excuse that one has the right weight, but just has the wrong height. The American humorist Sam Levenson (1911-1980) said in 1952, "But I'm…
“I’m not fat—my stomach is just in 3D”
"I'm not fat -- my stomach is just in 3D" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on June 13, 2011. Similar sayings include…
“I’m not fat, I’m trans-slender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m not fat, I’m translender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m not fat. I’m just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind”
"I'm not fat. I'm just a few meals ahead and a few shits behind" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. The expression is often given in numbers as "X meals…
“I’m not gaining weight—I’m retaining food”
"I'm not gaining weight -- I'm retaining food" is a saying that's been placed on T-shirts and bumper stickers. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“I’m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat”
"I'm not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I am not hungry, I'm just bored and therefore I feel…
“I’m not Irish, but my coffee is”
"I'm not Irish, but my coffee is" (or "I'm not Irish, but my coffee might be" is a St. Patrick's Day saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I’m not Irish, but my coffee might be”
"I'm not Irish, but my coffee is" (or "I'm not Irish, but my coffee might be" is a St. Patrick's Day saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I’m not overweight—I’m undertall”
"I'm not overweight, I'm just undertall" is a jocular dieting excuse, printed on gift items such as T-shirts. The saying was popularized by the Garfield syndicated newspaper…
“I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”
Pasta doesn't cook in a toaster, but there are jokes about it. "I'm not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster? http://bit.ly/ZO993o via…
“I’m not really a social drinker. I’d say most of my drinking is work-related”
"I'm not really a social drinker. I'd say most of my drinking is work-related" is a jocular drinking line that has been printed on many images. American journalist Linda…
“I’m not saying I drink too much coffee, but I do believe my body will keep moving after death”
"I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine, but I do believe my body will keep moving 48 hours after my death" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m not…
“I’m not saying I’m a bad cook, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?”
Pasta doesn't cook in a toaster, but there are jokes about it. "I'm not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster? http://bit.ly/ZO993o via…
“I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it’s not twenty seven”
"I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not twenty seven" is a cookie saying that has been printed on many images. The jocular saying was posted on…
“I’m not sure sure if it’s the thyme or the plaice” (joke)
"I'm not sure if it's the thyme (time) or the plaice (place)" is a popular food pun. "This is neither the thyme nor the plaice" was posted to the newsgroup…
“I’m now accepting invitations to drink and yap on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m now accepting invitations to get shit-faced on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m on a coffee diet. That’s when I drink coffee and don’t bite people”
"I'm on this new diet where I drink coffee instead of biting people" and "I'm on a/the coffee diet. That's when I drink coffee and don't bite people" are…