“I’m not a wiNO. I’m a wineYES!”
"I'm not a wiNO. I'm a wineYES!" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm Not A Wino, I'm A 'Why-Yes'" by Walter Lolich…
“I’m not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking” (Cinco de Mayo joke)
"I'm not above using obscure Mexican battles to justify my drinking" is a Cinco de Mayo joke that has been printed on an ecard. The ecard has been in print since at least May 3,…
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship”
"I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not addicted to coffee, we're…
“I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I’m a drunk, we go to parties”
"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I'm a drunk, we go to parties" is a popular saying on posters. The joke refers indirectly to Alcoholics Anonymous, an…
“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a bartender who works from home”
"I am not an unemployed alcoholic, I am a bartender who works from home" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter by comedy wirter Richard Day on January 27, 2010. "I'm not…
“I’m not as think as you drunk I am”
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" -- a drunk "spoonerism" version of "I'm not as drunk as you think I am" -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…
“I’m not chubby. I’m insulated. And winter’s coming. So I’m prepared”
"I'm not chubby. I'm insulated. And winter's coming. So I'm prepared" (or "I'm not fat. I'm insulated") is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“I’m not confused—I’m only well-mixed”
Poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) frequently said "I'm not confused; I'm only well-mixed" (also "I'm not confused; I'm just well-mixed"). The saying (which dates…
“I’m not drinking anymore (but I’m not drinking any less, either)”
"I'm not drinking anymore (any more) -- but I'm not drinking any less, either" is a joke that has been attributed to New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971), singer…
“I’m not drunk, I’m patriotic”
"I'm not drunk, I'm patriotic" is a drinking saying (popular on July 4th Independence Day) that has been printed on many images. "I'm not drunk I'm patriotic…
“I’m not fat—I just have good marbling”
"Marbling" (streaks of fat) is usually preferred in a steak. But in humans? "I'm not fat, I'm well-marbled" was posted on Twitter by "Nina Bargiel, probably"…
“I’m not fat—I’m cultivating mass”
"I'm not fat -- I'm cultivating mass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. The line was spoken on the American television sitcom It's Always Sunny in…
“I’m not fat—I’m flooded” (human body is 80% water)
"The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "apparently we are 90% water, so I'm not…
“I’m not fat—I’m fluffy”
"I'm not fat -- I'm fluffy" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, often with the picture of a fluffy animal. "I'm not fat;…
“I’m not fat—I’m insulated”
"I'm not chubby. I'm insulated. And winter's coming. So I'm prepared" (or "I'm not fat. I'm insulated") is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“I’m not fat—I’m just big boned”
"I'm not fat -- I'm just big boned" is a jocular saying that has een printed on posters. "I am not fat, just tall and big boned" was cited in print in 1945.…
“I’m not fat—I’m just easy to see”
"I'm not fat -- I'm just easy to see" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and bumper stickers. The saying has been cited in…
“I’m not fat—I’m just so sexy, it overflows”
"I'm not fat -- I'm just so sexy, it overflows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many posters and ecards. The saying has been on Twitter since September 21, 2010.…
“I’m not fat—I’m just well-marbled”
"Marbling" (streaks of fat) is usually preferred in a steak. But in humans? "I'm not fat, I'm well-marbled" was posted on Twitter by "Nina Bargiel, probably"…
“I’m not fat—I’m well-insulated”
"I'm not chubby. I'm insulated. And winter's coming. So I'm prepared" (or "I'm not fat. I'm insulated") is a jocular saying that has been printed…