“I live for small dried fruits. They’re my raisin d’être”
"Raison d'être" ( French for "reason for being") has nothing to do with raisins, but there are jokes. "I absolutely live for small dried fruits. They're my…
“I look fat. Please say something nice.”/“You have perfect eyesight.”
A fat joke is: WIFE (looking in the mirror): I look fat. Please give me a compliment.HUSBAND: You have perfect eyesight. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003 and has been printed on…
“I lost my Tic Tacs today. Now, I’m looking for replacemints”
"Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now Im looking for some replace mints" was posted on Twitter by David Easaw on January 8, 2013. "I lost my Tic Tacs today.... Now, I'm looking for…
“I love Basmati rice. I could eat it Tilda cows come home”
Tilda (a brand name since 1970) makes basmati rice that is the top-selling rice in the United Kingdom. "Tilda" sounds like "till the," and there are jokes about this "till…
“I love coffee, I love tea” (“Java Jive”)
"I love coffee, I love tea" (also "I like coffee, I like tea") is best known today as the first line of the song "Java Jive" (1940, with words by Milton Drake, music…
“I love cooking children and dogs. But hate using commas”
"I love cooking children and dogs but I hate punctuating my sentences" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter on April 3, 2011. "I love cooking children and dogs but I hate…
“I love cooking with wine—sometimes I even put it in the food”
"I love cooking with wine -- sometimes I even put it in the food." This popular quote has been attributed to French chef Julia Child (1912-2004) and to the film comedian (and lover of the…
“I love food more than I love people”
"I love food more than I love people" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. "I love food more than I like people. It's not even close" was posted on…
“I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean coffee. Coffee is my friend”
"I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean coffee. Coffee is my friend. I love having coffee with coffee" and "I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean…
“I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean my dog”
"I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean coffee. Coffee is my friend. I love having coffee with coffee" and "I love having coffee with friends. And by friends I mean…
“I love how all these so-called ‘vegans’ still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!”
A saying about water was posted on Twitter by "i'm caleb" on May 25, 2016: "I love how all these so-called 'vegans' still drink water. That's a fish's house…
“I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I’m in a good mood for about 27 minutes”
"I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes" (or "I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you're in a good mood for like 32…
“I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I’m in a good mood for about 30 minutes”
"I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes" (or "I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you're in a good mood for like 32…
“I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I’m in a good mood for approximately 34 minutes”
"I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes" (or "I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you're in a good mood for like 32…
“I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you’re in a good mood for like 27 minutes”
"I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes" (or "I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you're in a good mood for like 32…
“I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you’re in a good mood for like 32 minutes”
"I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes" (or "I love how coffee tricks you into thinking that you're in a good mood for like 32…
“I love it when a flan comes together”
"I love it when a plan comes together" was a catchphrase of the fictional character Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith (played by George Peppard) in the American action-adventure…
“I love it when people post me Swiss cheese. I know, I’m just being sent Emmental”
Emmental is a yellow, medium-hard cheese that originated in Emmen, Switzerland. It's sometimes joked that one is being "sent Emmental" (sentimental). "pretty gutted i never get…
“I love ketchup from my head tomatoes”
"I love ketchup/you from my head tomatoes" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and ecards. "'From my head tomatoes' - Adam…
“I love Mexican food them chicken case of ideas be so good fr”
"Quesadillas" is sometimes joked as "case of ideas." "I fuck wit Mexican food them chicken case of ideas be good as hell" was posted on Facebook by Dee Grape on August…