“How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?”
"How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?" (or "How much shit could a dipshit dip if a dipshit could dip shit?") is a jocular line that has been printed on…
“How much do s’mores weigh?”/“At least a couple grahams.”
"Grams" shouldn't be confused with "grahams," but there's a riddle: Q: How much do s'mores weigh?A: At least a couple grahams. The pun was posted on Reddit --…
“How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?”/“About 15 minutes.”
"How much do/should you spend on a bottle of wine?"/"About 30 minutes" -- the question probably referred to money, not time -- is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
“How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?”/“About half an hour.”
"How much do/should you spend on a bottle of wine?"/"About 30 minutes" -- the question probably referred to money, not time -- is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
“How much does a bottled soft drink cost?”/“About a dollar a pop, soda speak.”
"Soda speak" is a jocular version of "so to speak" and was entered into the Urban Dictionary on May 8, 2013. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 16, 2017: Q: How…
“How much does a dumpling weigh?”/“Wonton.”
A “wonton” dumpling sounds like “one ton,” and there’s a riddle: Q: How much does a dumpling weigh?A: Won-ton. "How much does a cubic meter of oriental soup weigh? (...) It weighs…
“How much does a pirate pay for corn?”/“A buccaneer.”
"Buccaneer" sounds like "buck an ear," leading to the joke: Q: How much does a pirate pay for corn?A: A buccaneer. "Buccaneer is too much to pay for corn" was cited in…
“How much of the cake did the sword want?”/“Just a slice.”
A cake riddle is: Q: How much of the cake did the sword want?A: Just a slice. The riddle was posted on Twitter by Sagittarius on November 1, 2017. TwitterSagittarius@Otoya808@dadtellsjokes How much…
“How much should you spend on a bottle of wine?”/“About 30 minutes.”
"How much do/should you spend on a bottle of wine?"/"About 30 minutes" -- the question probably referred to money, not time -- is a joke that has been printed on many images.…
“How much space do fungi need to grow?”/“As mushroom as possible.”
A mushroom pun has been printed on several images: Q: How much space do fungi need to grow?A: As mushroom as possible. "How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible"…
“How much turd do you put into a turducken?”
A "turducken" is a portmanteau food name after its ingredients -- turkey, duck and chicken. There is no "turd" in "turducken," but there are jokes. Wikipedia:…
“How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?”
There usually is no weed ("pot") in a chicken pot pie, but there are jokes. "How much weed am I supposed to put in this chicken pot pie?" was posted on Twitter by steve…
“How old were you when you realized the straw hole in a CapriSun is the dot of the ‘i’?”
CapriSun drinks have a straw that goes through the letter "i." Some people are astonished to be told this vital juice drink straw information. "How old were you when you realized the…
“How strong do you like your coffee?”/“I want it to show up on a drug test.”
Some people want coffee so strong that it shows up in drug tests. This is just a joke, since caffeine is usually not the subject of drug testing. "'How strong do you like your…
“How TF you wanna travel the world but order chicken tenders everywhere you go?”
Parents can take their children to travel the world with them, but the kids usually want to eat the same order of chicken tenders, or just chicken nuggets and fries. "You wanna travel but…
“How the heck do you milk chocolate?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How the hell does Dawn clean ducks, but not the Tupperware bowl I had my spaghetti in?”
"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…
“How to cook crack and clean a crab. Step one: Use commas”
"How to cook crack and clean a crab. Step one: Use commas" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "'how to cook crack and clean a crab' is the best example…
“How to eat Peeps: Throw them in the trash”
"The best way to eat Peeps is to throw them in the trash" (also "How to eat Peeps: Throw them in the trash") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "best way to…
“How to enjoy pumpkin beer. Step 1: Throw it in the trash”
"How to enjoy pumpkin beer. Step 1: Throw it in the trash" is a jocular saying that has been shown on an image. The image was posted on Imgur on August 26, 2015. ImgurWith Fall beer…