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June 1, 2015
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I would rather be covered in sweat at the gym than in clothes at the beach”

"I would rather be covered in sweat at the gym than in clothes at the beach" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying was cited on Twitter on April 9,…

August 7, 2023
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m a bodybuilding mime. Some people say I’m the strong, silent type”

Many women like the strong, silent type of man. "Women say they like the strong silent type. So basically a bodybuilder mime" was posted on X/Twitter by Sofa King Cool ✇ on January 8,…

December 15, 2024
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m going to the gym now. I’m not bragging, I just want you to know where to send the ambulance”

"I'm going to the gym now. I'm not bragging, I just want you to know where to send the ambulance" is a jocular saying that has been pinted on many images. "@Professor_Ryan:…

March 26, 2021
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though”

"I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I'm pretty good at fuck ups though" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im ok when it comes to sit…

July 27, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m not slow. I’m just getting my money’s worth from the entry fee”

"I'm not slow. I'm just getting my money's worth from the entry fee" is a jocular running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on…

November 27, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m not yawning. I’m doing face yoga”

"I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a T-shirt. "I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" was posted on Twitter…

August 2, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans”

"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…

March 14, 2021
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness”

"I'm running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness" was posted on Twitter by thotrey hepurn on February 16, 2017. That is, the lazy person is barely moving at all, just…

May 11, 2024
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m thinking about getting a pet to take jogging with me. Maybe a turtle”

Many people jog/run with their dogs. "I can't run fast enough to take my dog jogging, so I got a pet turtle" was posted on Facebook by Mark Renfroe on December 15, 2017.…

November 25, 2015
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m thinking about running a marathon again” (joke)

A joke about running the marathon was cited on reddit in November 2015: Me: "I'm thinking about running a marathon again."Her: "Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"Me:…

March 9, 2021
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m walking on a treadmill. I named it Sunshine. I’m walking on Sunshine”

"I'm walking on sunshine woahhhh I'm walking on sunshine woahhh wait it's a treadmill ..." was posted on Twitter by Anna Craig on April 9, 2010. The song "Walking on…

November 20, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m working on a fitness routine for insects. It’s OK, but I’m still trying to work out the bugs”

The expression "work out the bugs" means to remove defects, but a joke takes the words literally. "I'm working on a fitness routine for insects. It's going well, but…

October 28, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve been exercising using dictionaries, and I’m finally starting to see some definition”

People work out to "see some definition," such as muscles coming out from what used to be fat. "Been bench pressing dictionaries, starting to see some definition in my arms..."…

July 27, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the fitness protection program”

"I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program" '' a pun on "witness protection program" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed…

January 29, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve decided to start calling my toilet Jim instead of John. I go to the Jim every morning”

"Instead of John, I call my bathroom Jim. That way it sounds better when I say I went to the Jim first thing this morning" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images.…

November 4, 2024
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve noticed that people who wear jogging bottoms are usually the least likely to actually jog”

Many people who wear jogging bottoms do not jog. "for years i preached hate against the types who wear jogging bottoms when they obviously do not jog... now, i wear them too (in…

July 24, 2018
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve started cross fit. I cross my fingers and hope my pants fit”

"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…

February 9, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’ve worn this for 20 years and it still fits.”/“It’s a scarf.”

Someone is in good shape when an old piece of clothing still fits, right? This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on October 4, 2011 (originally on the Sickipedia website) and has been…

March 26, 2021
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m not too good at push ups or sit ups, but fuck ups? Let me tell you”

"I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I'm pretty good at fuck ups though" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im ok when it comes to sit…

December 21, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I’m pretty sure it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a gym membership”

Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBill Murray‏ @BiIIMurrayI’m pretty sure that it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to a gym.12:30 PM - 21 Dec 2017

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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