“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
"Spring Forward, Fall Back" is how people set clocks, but there is a joke: "If it weren't for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I'd never get any exercise at all."…
“If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere”
"If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there" is a jocular anti-jogging saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“If sex is great exercise, then why are there still fat sluts?”
"If sex is great exercise, then why are there still fat sluts?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on GIFs. "If sex is such good exercise then why is there fat sluts?"…
“If sex is the best form of exercise, why is it not readily available in the gym?”
It's sometimes said that sex is the best form of exercise. "Mel Foxon says if sex is the best form of exercise why is it not readily available in the gym??!!??!" was posted on…
“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel”
"If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel" is a jocular one-line saying about stress that has been printed on many images. "If stress burned calories, I’d be a size…
“If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales”
"If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales (to me)" is a joke on many websites that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. "If swimming is so good…
“If the bar ain’t bending, you’re just pretending”
"If the bar ain't bending, you're just pretending" is a weightlifting saying that has been printed on T-shirts and posters. "If the bar ain't bending, you're just…
“If the sweat ain’t flying, you ain’t trying”
Many people believe that if you work out, it should end with you dripping with sweat. "If you don't sweat....you ain't doin' it right" was posted on Twitter by Scott…
“If you are what you eat, do bodybuilders eat mussels?”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“If you break both of your legs, don’t come running to me”
The newspaper comic strip "Dinah Mite" by Joe Buresch, published on August 5, 1955, showed a father cautioning his tree-climbing daughter (Dinah): "If you fall and break your leg,…
“If you can breathe, you can do yoga”
Some people believe that yoga is both physically and mentally demanding, but many yoga instructors dispel that, stating that each person goes at his or her own pace. "If you can breathe, you…
“If you can read this, I’m not last!” (runner’s T-shirt)
"If you can read this, I’m not (in) last (place)!" is a jocular saying on the back (and/or front) of runners' T-shirts. "If you can read this, I'm not last" was…
“If you don’t leap, you’ll never know what it’s like to fly” (gymnastics saying)
"If you don't leap, you'll never know what it's like to fly" appeared in the book The Secret of Letting Go (1990) by self-help author Guy Finley. The saying was initially…
“If you eat cake fast enough, your Fitbit will think you’re walking”
"If you eat cake/cookies/donuts fast enough, your Fitbit will think you're jogging/walking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I heard if you eat fast…
“If you eat cookies fast enough, your Fitbit will think you’re running”
"If you eat cake/cookies/donuts fast enough, your Fitbit will think you're jogging/walking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I heard if you eat fast…
“If you eat donuts fast enough, your Fitbit will think you’re jogging”
"If you eat cake/cookies/donuts fast enough, your Fitbit will think you're jogging/walking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I heard if you eat fast…
“If you eat tacos fast enough, your Fitbit will think you’re walking”
"If you eat cake/cookies/donuts fast enough, your Fitbit will think you're jogging/walking" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I heard if you eat fast…
“If you exercise, you might get a trophy. If you don’t, you might get atrophy”
"If you exercise, you might get a trophy. If you don't, you might get atrophy" is a popular meme. "My trainer told me even if I don't win a trophy, I could get…
“If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?”
"If you run/jog backwards, will you gain weight?" is a jocular question that has been included on many lists on one-line sayings. "If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?"…
“If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape”
"If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "You'd be in great shape if you ran like your…