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March 29, 2023
Education/Schools

“Why do Americans fish with a gun?”/“So they get the whole school.”

A riddle about the term "school of fish" and school shootings was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 29, 2023: Q: Why do Americans fish with a gun?A: So they get the whole school.…

December 13, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why do chemists like nitrates so much?”/“They’re cheaper than day rates.”

A chemistry riddle is: Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?A: They're cheaper than day rates. The "nitrate"/"night rate" pun has been cited in print since at least…

January 30, 2018
Education/Schools

“Why do fish swim in schools?”/“Because they can’t walk in schools.”

A school riddle is: Q: Why do fish swim in schools?A: Because they can't walk in schools. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. when it was printed on a Laffy Taffy wrapper.…

October 17, 2025
Education/Schools

“Why do ghosts speak Latin?”/“Because it’s a dead language.”

Latin is often said to be a dead language. Naturally, there's a ghost joke. "Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin? A: It's a dead language. #Halloween #SydesJokes" was posted on…

September 4, 2018
Education/Schools

“Why do people cry on the last day of school? The right time to cry is the first day of school”

"Why do people cry on the last day of school? The right time to cry is the first day of school" (or "You should be crying on the first day of school") is a school saying that…

April 18, 2019
Education/Schools

“Why do we use protractors in geometry?”/“Because amateur tractors don’t know what they’re doing!”

Protractors aren't "professional tractors," but there are jokes. "Protractors $1.99 no word on price for amateur tractors" was posted on Twitter by Nelson on August 23,…

September 20, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?”/“Because they can spend years at C.”

A pirate riddle is: Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C! The joke was posted on the website PirateJokes.net on September 12, 2008.…

January 21, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why doesn’t the sun go to college?”/“Because it has a million degrees.”

A pun about "degrees" is: Q: Why doesn't the sun go to college?A: Because it has a million degrees. The riddle was posted on Twitter on August 29, 2009. “My college graduation was…

January 4, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why don’t communists ever learn?”/“Because there are no classes.”

German philosopher and economist Karl Marx (1818-1883), co-author with Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) of The Communist Manifesto (1848), preached a classless society. A riddle was posted to Reddit --…

October 17, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why don’t they allow donkeys in school?”/“Because no one likes a smart ass.”

A school riddle is: Q: Why don't they allow donkeys in school?A: Because no one likes a smart ass. "I know a donkey with an I.Q. of 138! Hasn't got a friend in the world. 'Cause…

May 10, 2016
Education/Schools

“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 8 9.”

A children's number riddle is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986. “Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6…

August 22, 2016
Education/Schools

“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”/“Because 7 is a registered 6 offender”

A children’s number riddle is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9. A popular variation is: Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7 is a registered 6 offender. "Why is 6 afraid of…

January 20, 2023
Education/Schools

“Why is gravity so cheap?”/“Because it’s mass-produced.”

A science riddle is: Q: Why is gravity so cheap?A: Because it's mass produced. The joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on January 15, 2022. Reddit -- 3amjokesPosted byu/Adghnm January 15,…

February 19, 2018
Education/Schools

“Why is it so easy to get into pirate college?”/“Because you only need the high C’s.”

A pirate riddle was posted on Twitter on March 13, 2012: Q: What grades do you need to get into pirate college? A: Seven C's. A slightly different pirate college riddle was posted on Reddit --…

August 20, 2020
Education/Schools

“Why is nostalgia like grammar?”/“We find the present tense and the past perfect.”

"Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect. -- Robert Orben" was printed in the Family Weekly weekend newspaper supplement on July 5, 1974.…

September 24, 2018
Education/Schools

“Why is the letter ‘C’ afraid of the rest of the alphabet?”/“All the other letters are Not-Cs.”

"Nazi" sounds like "Not-C." A riddle is: Q: Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?A: All the other letters are Not-Cs. The joke was posted on Reddit…

December 26, 2019
Education/Schools

“Why is the prostitute good with math?”/“Because it’s the thot that counts.”

"Thot" (a woman who is sexually promiscuous) sounds like "thought." There are several math puns about "the thot that counts," a joke on the saying "it's the…

December 27, 2016
Education/Schools

“Why was the cannibal expelled from school?”/“Because he was buttering up his teacher.”

A popular "cannibal in school" riddle is: Q: Why was the cannibal expelled frm school?A: Because he was buttering up his teacher. The cannibal jokehas been cited in print since at least…

July 16, 2020
Education/Schools

“Why was the circle depressed?”/“She thought her life was pointless.”

A circle riddle is: Q: Why was the circle depressed?A: She thought her life was pointless. "'Everything just seems so pointless' - depressed circle" was posted on Twitter by…

February 2, 2017
Education/Schools

“Why was the math book sad?”/“Because it had so many problems.”

A math riddle has been printed on several images: Q: Why was the math book sad?A: Because it had so many problems. The riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1987. “I’m not sure how many…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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