“I take my paycheck to the bar because that’s better than drinking a loan”
American singer-songwriter Billy Joel's song "Piano Man" (1973) contains the lyric, "Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don’t buy lottery tickets”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone who doesn’t even play it”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“I think I’m pretty smart until I’m asked to tap to pay for something- here? where? here? do it again? did that work?”
"Tap to Pay" might be a simple system to some, but it confuses others. This was posted on X/Twitter by Mommy Needs A Life on March 5, 2024: "I think I’m pretty smart until I’m…
“I tried to buy a life insurance policy, but they just laughed and said I need to get a life first”
"Get a life!" is a popular expression. "I was denied life insurance, they said I had to get a life first" is a jocular saying that was posted on the newsgroup…
“I tried to re-marry my ex-wife, but she figured out I was only after my money”
Some people marry for money, but there's a jocular twist to this. "I wanted to remarry my Ex-wife but she refused and she said I was only after my money" was posted on Twitter on…
“I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, ‘One day, this could be you’”
A joke about the homeless is: "I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, 'One day, this could be you.' So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's…
“I was born at night, but not last night”
"I wasn't born yesterday!" is an expression dating from at least the 18th century meaning that a person is not so naive about a matter (financial or otherwise). "I was born at…
“I was born to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company”
A finance joke was posted on Reddit on November 23, 2016 (just before Thanksgiving): "I was very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company." The joke was…
“I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you”
A finance joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on September 29, 2017: "I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you." Reddit -- OnelinersI was…
“I was meant to be rich, I just know it. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I wish dogs lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and leftover fries still tasted good heated up”
"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…
“I wish I was rich” (genie joke)
A genie traiditionally grants three wishes. A joke on "I want to be rich" was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2016. Twitterdouble fro 7@fro_voGenie: what is your first wishJoe: i…
“I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket”
"I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since 2011 and is of uncertain…
“I wish out of sight out of mind applied to bills”
"Out of sight, out of mind" is an old proverb. "I wish out of sight out of mind applied to bills" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "'Out…
“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and cake didn’t make you fat and people weren’t idiots”
"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…
“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and cake didn’t make you fat and people weren’t twats”
"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…
“I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn’t suck”
"I wish pets lived longer and life wasn't so expensive and leftover fries were still good warmed up and people didn't suck" and "I wish pets lived longer and life…