“A pilot is just a flying bus driver”
An airline pilot is sometimes called a "flying bus driver." "Remember that most of the time, a pilot is a very well trained flying bus driver" was posted on the newsgroup…
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores
“A pint of tequila? That’s a long shot”
"Has anyone on here ever drunk a pint of Tequila? I know it's a long shot" is a drinking pun that was posted on X/Twitter by Matt Ward on January 31, 2012. "A pint of tequila?…
“A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular pirate version is: "A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his…
“A pirate walks into a bar, and it was at that moment…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pirate version is: "A pirate walks into a bar. And it was at that moment that he…
“A pirate walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular pirate version is: "A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking…
“A pizza is technically a cylinder”
"Pizzas are cylinders" was posted on Twitter by F'tim on April 10, 2014. "if you think about it, pizza is a very thin cylinder" was posted on Twitter by UsicMusic on…
“A pizza with radius ‘z’ and thickness ‘a’ has a volume of Pi*z*z*a”
"Pizzas are cylinders" was posted on Twitter by F'tim on April 10, 2014. "if you think about it, pizza is a very thin cylinder" was posted on Twitter by UsicMusic on…
“A plateau is a high form of flattery”
"A plateau is a high form of flattery" (or "A plateau is the highest form of flattery") is a "flattery" pun that has been printed on many images. "A Plateau is…
“A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A platypus version is: "A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. He finishes his…
“A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine”
"A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 19, 2016.…
“A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine”
"A poem about work: Coffee. Blah blah blah. Drive home. Wine" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 19, 2016.…
“A Pokémon Go user walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Pokémon Go version is: "A Pokémon Go user walks into a bar. Because he was too…
“A policeman asked me to come down to the station for an interview” (joke)
A joke about police procedure is: "A policeman asked me to come down to the station for an interview. I haven't even applied for a job there!" The joke was posted on Twitter on July…
“A political system that benefits from fear and ignorance has every reason to perpetuate both”
"A political system that benefits from fear and ignorance has every reason to perpetuate both" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by The Free Thought Project 2.0 on September 4,…
“A politician can make waves, then make you think he’s the only one who can save the ship”
"A politician can make waves, then make you think he's the only one who can save the ship" is a saying that has been credited to Ivern Ball since at least 1992. The quotation made…
“A politician is a man who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it”
"A politician is a man who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it" is a jocular one-line saying that is frequently credited to American composer and comedian Oscar Levant…
“A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground”
"A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground" has been credited to writer H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) and comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977). To…
“A politician is someone who will lay down your life for his country”
The greatest form of patriotism is said to be someone who lays down his life for his country. A joke circulated in the American Legion Weekly in 1923 that the definition of an "orator" is…
“A politician ought to be born a foundling and remain a bachelor”
Claudia Alta "Lady Bird" Taylor Johnson (1912-2007) was the first lady of Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-1973), the 36th President of the United States (1963–1969). She so disliked the…
“A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next generation”
"A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next generation" is credited to American preacher James Freeman Clarke (1810-1888), whose authorship was cited in 1870. The…