“A programmer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A programmer version is: "A programmer walks into a bar holding up two fingers and…
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“A pub is for life, not just for Christmas”
"A pub is for life, not just for Christmas" is a saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. The saying became popular in United Kingdom pubs from at least 2003, promoting year-round…
“A puddle of vomit goes into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are various "sick joke" versions. "A pile of vomit walks into a bar,…
“A pun walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A pun version is: "A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot. Pun in, ten…
“A QA engineer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A quality assurance (QA) engineer version is: "A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders…
“A quesadilla is essentially a grilled cheese sandwich”
The Mexican "quesadilla" has been compared to the American "grilled cheese sandwich." "In its simplest form, a quesadilla is a grilled cheese sandwich," the Calgary…
“A question mark walks into a bar?” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A question mark version is: "A question mark walks into a bar?" The joke…
“A quick nickel is better than a slow dime”
"A fast/quick nickel is better than a slow dime/quarter/dollar" means that a smaller profit (with greater volume) can be better for business than a potentially larger profit (with less…
“A race horse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time”
"A race horse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time" is a pun on the idiom "to take somebody for a ride," meaning to cheat or deceive…
“A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously”
"A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top" is a popular observation. "Champagne Trick: A raisin…
“A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a bag of marijuana. He wanted to open a joint account”
A joke about a "joint" bank account has been cited in print since at least 2009: "A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a huge bag of dagga wanting to open a joint account."…
“A Rat In The House May/Might Eat The Ice Cream” (“arithmetic” spelling aid)
"A Rat In The House May/Might Eat The Ice Cream" is a mnemonic aid that some have used to spell the word "arithmetic." The line "a rat in the house may eat the ice…
“A real friend never gets in your way—unless you happen to be on the way down”
"A real friend never gets in your way -- unless you happen to be on the way down" (or "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down") is a friendship…
“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works”
"A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works" was written by Bill Vaughan (1915-1977), a columnist who specialized in aphorisms, in September…
“A real sign that you’ve made it is when your couches aren’t against a wall”
"If your couch isn’t against a wall you are unimaginably rich" was posted on Twitter by conntent mcnett on October 3, 2019. That is, if a couch is not against a wall, the room is not…
“A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips”
"A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start(ed) eating chips" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, a louder TV sound is needed to cover the sound of…
“A real Smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips”
"A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start(ed) eating chips" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, a louder TV sound is needed to cover the sound of…
“A really bad impressionist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An impressionist version is: "A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The…
“A really big shew” (The Ed Sullivan Show)
American television personality Ed Sullivan (1901-1974) hosted The Ed Sullivan Show (a variety entertainment television program) from 1949 to 1974. Sullivan introduced it as the "big…
“A recent survey has said that 29% of owners sleep with their pets on the bed. I tried it once, fucking goldfish died”
Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…