“I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today”
"I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today" (or "I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and now I'm tired again") is a jocular saying that has…
"I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today" (or "I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and now I'm tired again") is a jocular saying that has…
"I'm rubber, you're glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you" is a children's saying about insults. "Markydoodoo" posted a different version of…
"I'm running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness" was posted on Twitter by thotrey hepurn on February 16, 2017. That is, the lazy person is barely moving at all, just…
"I run on coffee and bad decisions" (or "I'm running on coffee and bad decisions") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm tired as hell,…
"I'm running out of unproductive things to do at work" is a jocular statement that has been printed on a Rottenecard. "I'm running out of unproductive things to do at…
"I'm seeing way too many plus size vegans... ARE Y'ALL FRYING THE LETTUCE?" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "I'M SEEING WAY TOO MANY PLUS SIZE VEGANS.…
The theremin is a musical instrument that's played without physical contact. A classic joke is: "I'm thinking of selling my theremin. I haven't touched it in years."…
"I'm sick of all these Irish stereotypes. As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The line was posted on…
"Spanish Inquisition" sounds a bit like "spinach inquisition," and there are jokes. "Nobody expects the Spinach Inquisition" is a pun on the famous "Nobody…
"I'm so addicted to coffee, I don't sweat. I percolate" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...…
There's a difference between "Checkmate!" (said at the end of a game of chess) and "Check/cheque, mate!" (said at the end of a restaurant meal in Australia), but it's…
There's a difference between "Checkmate!" (said at the end of a game of chess) and "Check/cheque, mate!" (said at the end of a restaurant meal in Australia), but it's…
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
"Cent" shouldn't be confused with "scent," but there are jokes. "I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket" was posted on…
Many banks give away free calendars. "I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back" was posted on the newsgroup pdaxs.services.children on August 22, 2005. Google Groups:…
Many people are forced to play the recorder at school, but later find that their recorder skills didn't improve their lives. This joke was posted on Twitter by 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 on…
"I'm so good Santa came twice" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is perhaps NSFW. “@NilamL: last year i was so good, santa came…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" is a saying from the 1700s and 1800s, when horses were used for transportation (and eating the horse would be a last resort). "I'm so…