"I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and…

“I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today” (or “I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and now I’m tired again”) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A Dennis the Menace comic strip by Hank Ketcham (1920-2001) printed this on November 13, 1972:

“What does RETIRED mean, Dennis?”
“Tired yesterday, tired again today…I guess.”

University of Texas basketball coach Abe Lemons (1922-2002) said in March 1977:

“Retired? I was tired yesterday and tired again today.”

“Retired is being tired twice” is another saying about retirement.

13 November 1972, Tallahassee (FL) Democrat, “Dennis the Menace” comic strip, pg. 11, col. 7:
“What does RETIRED mean, Dennis?”
“Tired yesterday, tired again today…I guess.”

9 March 1977, Seattle (WA) Times, Bob Schwarzmann column, pg. B3, col. 5:
RAVELING DIDN’T say it, but Abe Lemons did.

The Teas coach was talking about a couple of football types, Darrell Royal and Frank Broyles, who were hangin’ ‘em up.

“Retired?” Abe asked. “I was tired yesterday and tired again today.”

“That’s retired.”

6 October 1986, Leader-Telegram (Eau Claire, WI), “Mama D” by Karen Harder (cook Giovanna D’Agostino) pg. 13A, col. 4:
On retirement: “People ask me if I’m retired. I say, “Yes, I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired today.’”

Google Books
Speak Up with Confidence!:
A step-by-step guide to successful public speaking
By Carol Kent
Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson
1987
Pg. 20:
Someone recently gave me this definition of the word retired; “I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.”

Twitter
Ben Requena #ChasingThankYou
@BenRequena
I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.
10:49 PM - 9 Nov 2008

Twitter
funny humour
@funnyhumour
im retired… i was tired yesterday and im tired again today.
11:16 AM - 3 Nov 2009

Twitter
Javanese Bonar
@bonar13
RT @abeija I’m retired, i was tired yesterday, and now i’m tired again..
5:12 AM - 12 Nov 2009

Twitter
Amy
@amila_baby
I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and now I’m tired again today…
7:19 PM - 7 Sep 2010

Google Books
The Gift of Age:
Wit and Wisdom, Information and Inspiration for the Chronologically Endowed, and Those Who Will Be
By Richard Lederer
Portland, OR: Marion Street Press
2011
Pg. 108:
I’m Retired. I Was Tired Yesterday, And I’m Tired Again Today

Twitter
@cabbyjr
@CabbyJr
LOL @WoodyPaige sign on @ESPN “I’m retired! I was tired yesterday and now I’m tired again today!” LOL! #BeenThereDoneThat
5:04 PM - 20 Feb 2012

Twitter
ياسمين
@yasmire26
Overheard: “I’m retired; I was tired yesterday and I’m tired today”
10:06 PM - 6 Nov 2016

Google Books
Title I’m Retired I Was Tired Yesterday and Now I’m Tired Again: Blank Lined Notebook to Write in for Notes, to Do Lists, Notepad, Journal, Retirement Keepsake
Author Daily Materials
Publisher Independently Published, 2019
ISBN 1796675008, 9781796675009
Length 112 pages
Subjects Reference › Quotations

Twitter
lil lains♔
@llaineyvann
I asked my grandpa when he’s gonna retire and he said “I am retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m re-tired today”
2:04 PM - 2 Jun 2019

Twitter
Michael Rehdish
@MichaelRehdish
Replying to @TexDolly
She could get a bumper sticker that says “I’m retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m retired today”.
11:19 PM - 6 Jun 2019