“I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn’t want toupee full price”
"Toupee" sounds like "to pay." A joke was posted on Sickipedia on December 20, 2019: "I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn't want toupee full price."…
Food/Drink
“I bought one of those ‘smart’ light switches, but it was too clever for me..” (joke)
"Dimmer" switches aren't less intelligent than "smart" switches -- they're just less bright. A joke was posted on Twitter by TAYLOR (and others) on April 13, 2021:…
“I bought powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it”
"Just add water" is a popular direction on simple recipes or product instructions. "I bought powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it" is a joke that has been…
“I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years”
HP Sauce is a brown sauce popular in the United Kingdom. British prop comedian and magician Tommy Cooper (1921-1984) was credited in 2001 for this joke: "I bought some HP sauce the other day.…
“I bought some pepper spray yesterday. What a terrible product! It made my bolognese taste awful”
Pepper spray is not a food product, but there are jokes. "On recommendation of a buddy I bought some pepper spray. Must say, it does not taste half as good as I would have hoped" was…
“I bought some rocket salad yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it”
"Rocket salad" doesn't contain rocketships, but there's a joke: "I bought some rocket salad yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it." The joke was posted on…
“I bought some serving spoons, but they haven’t made me any better at tennis”
"Serving spoons" don't have anything to do with tennis serves, but there are jokes. "I bought some serving spoons, but they haven't made me any better at tennis" was…
“I brake for animals not people” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals so get off my tail” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals so stay off my tail” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for butterflies” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for butterflies" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker has been cited in print since at least 1981. Newspapers.com 30 October 1981,…
“I brake for cemeteries” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…
“I brake for coffee” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for coffee" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. It's a joke on the "coffee break." "Bumper Sticker: 'I break for…
“I brake for ghosts” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…
“I brake for haunted houses” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…
“I brake for hitchhiking ghosts” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…
“I brake for no reason” (bumper sticker)
"CAUTION: I brake for no apparent reason" (or "WARNING: I brake for no apparent reason") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "New Driver -- I…
“I brake for poltergeists so that my lights and tv don’t randomly flicker on and off” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…
“I brake for poltergeists so they don’t do weird stuff with my kitchen chairs” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for ghosts" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The driver can really see ghosts? The bumper sticker is popular around Halloween. "A…