“I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop”
Some people would rather fake it than exercise. This was posted on Twitter by MomofTeen on April 19, 2018: "I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop."…
Food/Drink
“I have discovered the dark matter that holds life together… it’s called coffee”
"I have discovered the dark matter that holds life together... it's called coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A picture of German-born theoretical physicist…
“I have done terrible things for money, like getting up early to go to work”
"I've done some terrible things for money, like getting up early and going to work" (or "I have done terrible things for money, like getting up early to go to work") is a…
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Jackie MasonJackie Mason (born June 9, 1931) is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100…
“I have found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes”
"I have found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have found the key to keeping a positive attitude.…
“I have furniture that goes back to Louis the 14th. That is, unless I can pay him by the 13th”
People who have furniture that goes back to the era of Louis XIV (1638-1715) like to brag about it, and there's a popular joke. "I have furniture that goes back to Louis the 14th... that…
“I have ice in my veins” (cool under pressure)
Someone who is said to have "ice in his/her veins" is someone who is cool under pressure. "Ice in his veins" has been cited in print since at least the early 1900s, and has been…
“I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs”
"I have joined the war on drugs on the side of drugs" (or "I'm joining the war on drugs on the side of drugs") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m…
“I have kids. Park too close and I’ll ding your shit” (car sign)
"I have kids. Park too close and I'll ding your shit" is a car sign that has been printed on many images. "Ding your shit" means "door ding your car." "I…
“I have kids. Park too close and they will ding your shit” (car sign)
"I have kids. Park too close and I'll ding your shit" is a car sign that has been printed on many images. "Ding your shit" means "door ding your car." "I…
“I have met my quota for stupid people this year. I am no longer taking applications. Thank you”
"I have met my quota for stupid people this year. I am no longer taking applications. Thank you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“I have mixed drinks about feelings”
"I have mixed drinks about feelings" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, posters and ecards. "I have mixed drinks about feelings" was…
“I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say”
"I have never been hurt by what I have not said" and "I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say" have both been printed on many images. The saying (with several…
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said”
"I have never been hurt by what I have not said" and "I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say" have both been printed on many images. The saying (with several…
“I have never known a worthwhile man who became too big for his boots or his Bible”
“I have never known a worthwhile man who became too big for his boots or his Bible” is frequently credited to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), but there's no evidence that he ever said it. The…
“I have never seen an ALCOHOL company using a drunk person for any advertising”
"I have never seen an ALCOHOL company using a drunk person for any advertising. Are they ashamed of their customers?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I have never…
“I have never understood why it is ‘greed’ to want to keep the money you have earned”
American economist and political philosopher Thomas Sowell wrote in a syndicated newspaper column in May 1994: "I have never understood why it is "greed" to want to keep the money…
“I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I just walk towards the automatic doors…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many store closures. This comment was posted on Twitter by Samuel J Comroe on Julhy 1, 2020: "I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I…
“I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community”
"I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community" (or "Just so we're clear, I have no problem with the LG HDTV Community") has been posted on many images. "LG HDTV"…
“I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right. The other ones…”
"I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right. The other ones are to keep me out of jail, help me form sentences, and fuel my razor sharp wit" is a jocular coffee…