"If you're having a bad day, an important thing to remember is that no one cares" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "No one cares if I’m having a bad day.…
"If you're having second thoughts, you're two ahead of most people" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, most people avoid thinking. "If…
"The Improper Fractions Helpline is now open 24/7" is a math joke that has been printed on coffee mugs. "My top-heavy fractions helpline is now open 24/7" was posted on Twitter…
A joke about yodeling was posted on Twitter by MꙬse Allain on April 18, 2016: "If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly queue (orderly orderly orderly…
Many people are schooled at home. "Since I am home schooled all my work is homework" was posted on Twitter on February 12, 2009. "Being home schooled all work is homework. *lame…
"If you're in a cold room, go stand in the corner. It's 90 degrees" is a geometry joke that has been printed on many images. "Why do Aggies/blondes stand in the corner when…
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck" and ""If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly" are sayings that have been…
"Search and recuse" is always "looking for people" -- not always to hire, but there are jokes. "Job Hunters Alert! Check out Local Search and Rescue! I hear they are always…
Someone is "bi-curious" if that person is curious about becoming bisexual. "Bicurryous" is a jocular term for a person who likes several curries. "I love trying new kinds…
Tinder is an online dating and geosocial networking application. Many women go on Tinder to look for a husband, only to find out that many of the men on Tinder are already married. "If…
"If you're looking/waiting for a sign that you should have a glass of wine, this is it" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images, especially bar and…
"If you're looking for a sign to drink tonight, this is it" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images, especially bar and restaurant signs. "If…
American actor, comedian and radio host Harry Shearer has been credited since 2008 for a political saying: "Democrats always like to brag that their guys are smarter than the opponents and…
"If/when you're looking, you're not cooking" (or "If/when you're lookin', you ain't cookin'") is a barbecue rule not to constantly look under the…
"If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then you're lucky enough" is a popular St. Patrick's Day saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: List of misquotationsThis page consists of things that many people think are correct quotations but are actually incorrect. This does not include quotations…
"If you're not at the New Yorker, you're not in New York" is the recent slogan of the old New Yorker hotel at 34th Street and Eighth Avenue. The New Yorker hotel is now owned by…
"If you're not at the table, you're on the menu" (or, "You're either at the table or on the menu") means that if you're not at the (bargaining) table, then…
"Flak" (anti-aircraft fire) became a widely used term during World War II. "If you're not catching flak, you're not over the target" (or "If you're catching…
Many athletes go to great lengths to get any edge they can against their competition; this often includes taking performance-enhacing drugs. "If you're not cheating, you're not…