“If you win the morning, you win the day” (radio adage)
"As the morning goes, so goes the station" was the slogan of WNBC (New York, NY) station manager Perry Bascom in 1972. Bascom -- a former president of Radio Advertising Representatives --…
Food/Drink
“If you win, be humble. If you lose, be gracious”
Entry in progress -- B.P. “If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble” is a similar saying. FacebookBASS ODYSSEYSeptember 4, 2013 · "If you win be humble. If you lose be gracious.…
“If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner”
English writer Henry Sambrooke Leigh (1837-1883) wrote in "On Corpulence" (1869): If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner,And take to light claret instead of pale ale;Look down…
“If you work at a cemetery, every shift is a graveyard shift”
A "graveyard shift" is a night shift, such as one between midnight and 6 a.m. It does not necessarily involve a work shift at a cemetery, but there are jokes. "And for two summers, I…
“If you would be pungent, be brief”
A popular saying about speaking is: "If you would be pungent, be brief—for it is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed the deeper they burn." The line was published…
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“If you wrote a screenplay about coffee, would it be a JavaScript?”
"JavaScript" is not a screenplay about coffee, but there are many puns. "Javascript (which I thought was a screenplay about coffee)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be climbing into my gravy boat and sailing away on the mashed potato sea”
Gravy boats are not boats that sail on water, but there are jokes. "If you had enough gravy boats would you have a gravy navy?" was posted on X/Twitter by John O'Donoghue on May 28,…
“If you’re afraid to speak out against tyranny, you’re already a slave”
"If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave" is a sayin that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If you are afraid to speak out…
“If you’re allergic to bananas, do you go into bananaphylactic shock?”
People who have banana allergies don't go into "bananaphylactic" (banana + anaphylactic) shock, but there are jokes. "For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation…
“If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”
"OBCD" sounds like "obesity." "OBCD" weas entered in the Urban Dictionary on April 7, 2011. "OBCD" should not be confused with "OCD"…
“If you’re always straightening things, you have OCD. If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD”
"OBCD" sounds like "obesity." "OBCD" weas entered in the Urban Dictionary on April 7, 2011. "OBCD" should not be confused with "OCD"…
“If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?”/“European.”
A nationality joke is: Q: If you’re an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? A: European (you're a-peeing). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. 12 April…
“If you’re asleep to the truth, you’ll drown in the lies”
"If you're asleep to the truth, you'll drown in the lies" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF YOU'RE ASLEEP TO THE TRUTH, YOU'LL DROWN IN THE…
“If you’re bored in New York, it’s your own fault”
The actress and New York City resident Myrna Loy (1905-1993) wrote in her 1987 autobiography: "If you’re bored in New York, it’s your own fault. Something’s always happening. But in…
“If you’re confused about gender, try milking a bull. That just might kick start your thinking”
"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…
“If you’re confused about gender, try milking a bull. You’ll learn real quick”
"If you are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking" and "If you're still confused about gender, try milking a bull and you'll…
“If you’re down by the schoolyard, stay away from Rosie. She’s the Queen of Corona”
New York City-raised singer-songwriter Paul Simon sang these lyrics in the song "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard" (1972): "Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona." Simon was…
“If you’re drinking to forget, please pay in advance”
"If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance" is a jocular sign in many drinking establishments. "If You're Drinking to Forget, Please Pay in Advance" has been…
“If you’re drunk at noon, you’re either living very well, or very poorly”
"If you're drunk at noon, you're either living very well, or very poorly" is a saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on September 27, 2017. The saying became…