“If ‘sat’ is the past tense of the word ‘sit’, then the past tense of ‘fit’ should be ‘fat’”
The past tense of "fit" is not "fat," but there are jokes. Often "sit" and "sat" are compared. "And is 'fat' the past tense of…
Food/Drink
“If ‘shat’ is the past tense of ‘shit’, then ‘fat’ must be the past tense of ‘fit’”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterMonica Holton@Moni2332I still think the past tense of "Fit" should be "Fat" just like "Shit" and "Shat"...12:40 PM - 24 Jul…
“If (...) then the terrorists win”
"If (we change our behavior or sacrifice our freedoms), the terrorists have won" became a popular phrase after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.…
“If 10% is enough for God, it’s enough for the IRS”
There are several Bible verses about giving to God, usually interpreted as giving 10%. A popular bumper sticker about the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is: "If 10% is enough for God,…
“If 2020 was a bath bomb, it would be a fucking toaster”
The COVID-19 pandemic made 2020 a bad year for many people. "If 2020 was a bath bomb it would be a fucking toaster" was posted on Twitter by Callum Lyon on October 28, 2020. A toaster, of…
“If 2020 was a drink, it would be bong water”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was followed with the George Floyd protests and riots. Not many people enjoyed the year 2020. "If 2020 was a drink moe it would be bong water" was…
“If 2020 was a drink, what would it be?”/“Colonoscopy prep.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was followed with the George Floyd protests and riots. Not many people enjoyed the year 2020. "If 2020 was a drink moe it would be bong water" was…
“If 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?”
"If 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Late to work. Why can't Thursday…
“If a 100 yd dash champion weds a marathon runner, is it a mixed race marriage?”
A "mixed race marriage" usually does not involve running, but there are jokes. "I happen to know that at least one anti-spammer who frequents NANAE is in a mixed-race marriage (...)…
“If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees”
"If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If an everyday Boeing 747 can carry a whole…
“If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules”
"If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules" and "If a bacon package isn't resealable, it contains one serving. That's science. I…
“If a barbecue place has a drive-through, it probably isn’t good”
"If a barbecue place has a drive-through, it probably isn't good/authentic" is a barbecue saying that probably can't be dated. Barbecue celebrates "low and slow"…
“If a bug won’t bite it, why should you? Go Organic”
"If a bug won't bite/eat it, why should I/you?" is a slogan of the organic foods movement. If a bug doesn't like it, that could be because the plant is loaded with chemicals.…
“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign”
"A cluttered up desk is the sign of a cluttered up mind" has been cited in print since at least 1947. "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty…
“If a cop tells you to put your hands in the air, don’t wave them like you just don’t care”
“Throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care” is a saying that became popular in the 1980s. What if the police tell you to put your hands in the air? "When a cop tells you to…
“If a cowboy dies and comes back to life, is it called reintarnation?”
"Reintarnation" is a portmanteau word from "reincarnation" and "tarnation." There are several cowboy jokes that use the term. "When a cowboy dies and is…
“If a crab were employed in a pizza parlor, in which station would it work? A crust station.”
"Crustacean" sounds like "crust station." "My pet crab Pinchy, just got a job at Pizza Hut at the Crust Station. I'm so proud" is a pun that was posted on Twitter…
“If a dreidel is on the news, wouldn’t it be a top story?”
A dreidel is a spinning top, played during the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. A news report about a dreidel would be a "top story." "Today's Top Story Is ACTUALLY About A…
“If a fart can get through underwear and a pair of jeans, how can a mask made of cloth save you?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements in some places. However, some people questioned the usefulness of face masks. "If a fart can get through underwear and a…
“If a homeless person makes something it’s not homemade”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/GameIvan46 April 22, 2020If a homeless person makes something it's not homemade