The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led to several jokes. "Let me tell you this coronavirus joke.We have to wait two weeks to see if you got it" was posted on Twitter by Imtiaz Mahmood on…
"I'll vacuum the beach before I tell Facebook I'm in a relationship again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words -- never. "I’ll vacuum the…
Many people wonder why a self-cleaning over can't clean the rest of the kitchen, or the rest of the house. "Why hasn't anyone taken the idea of 'self-cleaning oven' and…
“I’m a lawyer.” “Honest?” “No, the regular kind" is a lawyer joke that was posted on the newsgroup alt.bbs.wildcat on February 15, 1996. The joke is that the speaker had meant…
"I lick, swallow and suck... The salt, the tequila, the lime!" is a drinking/sex joke that has been printed on many images. Some images have it as, "I LICK the salt. I SWALLOW the…
An épée has nothing to do with an EpiPen, but there are jokes. "or where he keeps his fencing equipment: The epee pen" was posted on Twitter by Kenneth Baer on September 19, 2016.…
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
Many people -- if not all -- like to get paid without doing any work. "I’m anti-work but pro-paycheck so you see my dilemma" was posted on Twitter by Tuesdays with Taca on January 17,…
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
"I’m assuming Greek yogurt is just regular yogurt but with way more hair." is a jocular one-line saying about Greek yogurt. The saying was posted on Twitter by Brian Henderson on May…
"I’m at the age that not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
Bananas go bad very quickly. "I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several…
"I'm not regular broke, I'm high class broke. I'm broqué" and "I’m broke but not like the poor broke, I’m (a/the) classy type of broke. I’m broqué" are…
A joke about Presidents' Day is a reminder that presidents make campaign promises that they seldom keep. "Happy Presidents Day... Celebrate Presidents Day by making a promise you have no…
Does leaning forward help make a better video game player? "I am 100% convinced that leaning forward while playing video games substantially improves overall performance. /via @nessie111-works…
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many news outlets to instruct people to wash their hands. A comment was posted on Twitter by Liz Buckley on March 2, 2020: "I’m deeply disturbed by…
A "people-pleaser" joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 17, 2020: "I’m done being a people pleaser. If everyone’s ok with that." "I’m done being a people…
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" is a famous line in Irving Berlin's classic Christmas song, "White Christmas" (1942). A "white Christmas" joke that has…
"I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker) is a jocula saying that has been printed on many images. "ok funny…
"I’m from New York, where people say 'you’re welcome' to remind you to say 'thank you'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Some of the images…