"I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several ecards.…
Many people make plans to be more spontaneous, but do they make long term plans? "I have a five year plan to become more spontaneous" was posted on Twitter by Daveastated on August 27,…
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
"I've started drinking my coffee out of a clear mug, so people know where my tolerance level is at" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The implication is that…
"I've struggled with timekeeping since I don't know when" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by 3AM on March 21, 2020. "I've struggled with timekeeping since I…
To "know something like the back of one's hand" is to know it very well. A student joke applies this expression to a human anatomy test. "Going to Anatomy. I know this like the…
Is a "Bordeaux collie" (Bordeaux wine + Border Collie) a dog that will bring red wine? "Bordeaux collie" has been cited in print since at least 1995 and has been printed on…
Someone is in good shape when an old piece of clothing still fits, right? This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on October 4, 2011 (originally on the Sickipedia website) and has been…
"I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused sufferers to lose a sense of taste. "I wanted to make a COVID joke, but I think that'd be pretty tasteless" was posted on Twitter by…
"I'll Be Home for Christmas" (1943) is a Christmas song written by the lyricist Kim Gannon and composer Walter Kent and recorded by Bing Crosby. It referred to soldiers in World War…
“I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one” has been cited in print since at least September 2011 and was popularly used on signs in the Occupy Wall Street movement during…
Where's Waldo? is the title of the first book in a series, published in 1987. Waldo was difficult to locate. "I'm convinced Waldo owed some people money. Hiding ass nigga" was…
"I am going 2 change my Facebook username to NOBODY so when i see a boring status..i will like it..then it read:NOBODY LIKE THIS" was posted on Twitter on September 4, 2012. "Very…
"I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line" is a math saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the…
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
Can you substitute a Pepsi in a "rum and coke"? Dan Mentos made a popular tweet on November 23, 2014: “I’ll have a rum and coke”Is pepsi ok?“Sure whatever”*hands you a pepsi and…
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "I'll never be…
U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963. People who were alive at that time usually recall where they were when they first heard the news. A joke involves people who…
"I’ll sell my broken watch when the time is right. http://bit.ly/WyrZaq via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on March 18, 2013. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…