“A piece of gold walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular chemistry joke is: "A piece of gold walks into a bar. The Barman says,…
Archive for /P28140
“Why do mathematicians like parks?”/“Because of all the natural logs.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?A: Because of all the natural logs. The natural logarithm ("natural logs") joke has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“What does a physicist have for lunch?”/“Fission chips.”
"Fish and chips" became "fission chips" from several punsters in the 1940s, at the start of the nuclear age. "Fission chips" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won’t get a reaction”
"I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won't get a reaction" is a jocular line printed on many images. "I was going to make a chemistry joke, but I wasn't sure…
“When I die, I want the Mets to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time”
"When I die, I want (X) to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time" is a popular meme on many images. That 'X" is often a sports player or sports team. "I…
“When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave” (joke)
"When I die, I want (X) to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time" is a popular meme on many images. That 'X" is often a sports player or sports team. "I…
Oilpocalypse (oil + apocalypse)
"Oilpocalypse" (oil + apocalypse) can mean when the price of oil goes wildly up or down, or when there's a large oil spill. "Trust me, when the Oilpocalypse comes, I'll…
“Glutton — A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted”
A jocular definition of a "glutton" appeared (uncredited) in a 1947 newspaper: "A glutton is a person who takes the piece of layer cake you wanted." "GLUTTON: Someone who…
“The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name” (golf saying)
A popular golf saying is: "The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name...and they say golf is a quiet game." The saying has been cited in print since at least 2001…
“The best wood in an amateur’s bag is a pencil” (golf joke)
Professional golfer Chi-Chi Rodriguez told many one-liners on the golf tour. At the U.S. Open in 1979, Rodriguez joked about a pencil: "That's the best wood in the bag for an amateur. If…
“Golf is an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle”
"Golf is an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle" was cited in 1999 and is of unknown authorship. "Golf can best be described as an endless series of…
“Relationships are like algebra. You look at your X and wonder Y”
A popular algebra joke has been printed on T-shirts and ecards: "Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?" "This relationship shit is like…
“What do you call a bear with no teeth?”/“A gummy bear.”
A popular joke about gummy bears fruit candy is: Q: What you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Wikipedia: Gummy bearA gummy bear…
“i 8 sum Pi…and it was delicious” (math joke)
"√(-1) 2³ ∑π" ("i 8 sum Pi" or "I ate some pie") -- often followed with "and it was delicious" -- is a math joke that has been printed on T-shirts.…
“A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building” (joke)
A popular physics joke involving the Empire State Building is: "A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells 'Don't do it! You have so much…
“The first time I saw a universal remote control I thought, ‘This changes everything’”
A popular joke about a tv remote is: "I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself, 'Well, this changes everything.'" "A universal…
South Carolina: Palmetto State (nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P.Sabal palmetto Wikipedia: Seal of South CarolinaThe Great Seal of the State of South Carolina was adopted in 1776. The seal is made up of two elliptical areas, linked by…
“My friend told me a joke about a TV controller. It wasn’t remotely funny”
A popular pun about the tv remote is: "My friend told me a joke about a TV controller. It wasn't remotely funny." "I told my TV controller a joke. It wasn't remotely…
“Couples have Valentine’s Day. Singles have Palm Sunday”
A not-safe-for-work joke is told about Valentine's Day. "If Valentines Day is for lovers... what day is for single men... Palm Sunday" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“I shot someone with a starting gun. I’ve been charged with race crime”
Is a crime at a running race a race crime? There's a joke: "I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crime." The pun was cited on Twitter on October 7,…