“What streets do ghosts haunt?”/“Dead ends.”
A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?A: Dead ends. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. 5 March 1994, Toronto (ON) Star, "Riddles," pg. B6, col.…
Archive for /P26820
“What do little ghosts drink?”/“Evaporated milk.”
"Evaporated milk" is milk that has water removed. A popular Halloween ghost riddle is: Q: What do little ghosts drink?A: Evaporated milk. "Ghost toasties" and "evaporated…
“What would you find on a haunted beach?”/“A sand witch.”
The word "sandwich" is often spelled "sand witch" --especially around Halloween. "A sand witch -- a pretty girl in bathing costume" was printed in many newspapers in…
“How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?”/“With a pumpkin patch.”
A popular Halloween pumpkin riddle is: Q: How do you mend a broken jack-o'lantern?A: With a pumpkin patch! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994, when it was printed in many…
“What’s the coolest vegetable?”/“A rad-ish.”
A radish is not necessarily "rad" (as in "radical"), but there's a riddle: Q: What's the coolest vegetable?A: A rad-ish. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“What kind of vegetable is jealous?”/“A green bean.”
People get "green" with envy, and there's a vegetable riddle: Q: What kind of vegetable is jealous?A: A green bean. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2006. Sumo…
“Why was the math teacher late for school?”/“He took the rhombus.”
The math term "rhombus" sounds like "wrong bus," and there's a pun: Q: Why was the math teacher late for school?A: He took the rhombus. "Rhombus. Wrong bus?" was…
“What’s the strongest vegetable?”/“A muscle sprout.”
The Brussels sprout has a riddle: Q: What's the strongest vegetable?A: A muscle sprout. The "muscle sprout" joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. “What do you call…
“Why is history like a fruit cake?”/“Because it’s full of dates.”
A popular fruit cake joke is: Q: Why is history like a fruit cake?A: Because it's full of dates. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. Google Books1001 Really Stupid JokesBy…
“What did the lettuce say to the celery?”/“Quit stalking me!”
A popular pun about the celery stalk is: Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?A: Quite stalking me! A form of the joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in May 1985. Google BooksMay…
“Why did the baby ganoush grow up big and strong?”/“It had good auber-genes.”
Eggplant is also called aubergine, and there's a joke: Q: Why did the baby ganoush grow up big and strong?A: It had good auber-genes. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2011.…
“Roses are red. Wine is also red. Poems are hard. Wine”
A popular wine poem has been written on many images: "Roses are red.Wine is also red.Poems are hard.Wine." The short poem went viral on Twitter on July 10, 2012. Various other verses had…
“There’s always time for a glass of wine”
"There's always time for a glass of wine" is a saying that has been printed on many signs and wall plaques. Brooklyn's Poly Prep had "But it's always time for a glass…
“What’s the fastest vegetable?”/“A runner bean.”
A "runner bean" isn't necessarily athletic, but there's a riddle: Q: What is the fastest vegetable?A: The runner bean! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1972.…
“Dear Pringles, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness”
Pringles potato chips are sold in tubes that prevent the chips from being crushed. Adults can't fit their hands all the way inside the tubes, and there's a joke letter to Pringles:…
“What do you call a retired vegetable?”/“A has-bean.”
"Bean" can sound like "been," and there's a pun: QL What do you call a retired vegetable?A: A has-bean. "What do you call an obsolete Java Bean? A…
“What do you call two banana skins?”/“A pair of slippers.”
The banana peel gag -- laughing at someone slipping on a banana peel -- was popular in the late 1800s and early 1900s. One joke is: Q: What do you call two banana skins?A: A pair of slippers.…
“What do you call a stolen Tesla?”/“An Edison.”
Tesla Motors was named after Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla (1856-1943), who died at his residence in New York City's New Yorker Hotel (where there is a commemorative plaque).…
“Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry joke is: "Oxygen and Magnesium walk into a bar. The bartender says,…
“An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible”
"An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible" is a popular economics saying of uncertain authorship. American agricultural economist Donald…