“A lot of people don’t like Mondays, but 48 hours ago was a sadder day”
Many people don't like Mondays, but love Saturdays. However, "Saturday" sounds like "sadder day." "Anyone notice how Saturday sounds like 'sadder day'? I…
Archive for /P25980
“The four seasons are deer, turkey, rabbit and duck”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterConnect Dots@LoudAmericanthe four seasons: 1. SQUIRREL SEASON 2. DEER SEASON 3. RABBIT SEASON 4. TURKEY SEASON10:46 AM - 24 Jul 2009…
“I saw an ad that said, ‘TV for sale-Volume Stuck on Full.’ I couldn’t turn that down”
A television joke is: "I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said. 'Television For Sale -- Pounds 1 -- Volume Stuck On Full.' I thought:…
“If I want to see clowns at the Garden, I’ll just go to a Knicks game”
New York City's Madison Square Garden has hosted many different events, such as basketball's New York Knicks and the Ringling Brothers Circus. American television talk show host David…
“My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them”
"My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. American stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) used…
“Having just punched a midget selling watches, I know I’ve hit an all time low”
A pun about time is: "Having just punched a midget selling watches, I know I've hit an all time low." The joke was posted on Twitter on May 17, 2010. TwitterSidi…
“Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners”
A monorail pun is: "Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners." The joke was posted on Twitter on October 6, 2010 and probably originated on the website Pun of the Day.…
“The first few weeks of Weight Watchers you’re just finding your feet”
"The first few weeks of Weight Watchers you're just finding your feet" is a popular fat joke that has been printed on many images. British stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr has often used…
“I love reunions. They’re old school”
"Reunions are old school" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on T-shirts. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 20, 2010. "I love reunions; they're old…
“I never question myself. Why should I start now?”
"I never question myself. Why should I start now?" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter by "KD" on July 1, 2010. The second sentence jokes on the first.…
“Exercise bikes get you nowhere”
""Exercise bikes get you nowhere" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on T-shirts. "Exercise bikes get you nowhere - except towards fitness without being rained…
“I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it”
"I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it" is a jocular saying -- the "it" can refer to a lost book or a lost anger -- that has been printed on several…
“My internet bride got delivered today. She’s the WiFi always dreamed of”
"WiFi" sounds like "wife I." A pun was posted on Twitter by Dave Thomas on March 18, 2012: "My internet bride got delivered today, she's the WiFi always dreamed…
“I don’t buy fat-free milk because I don’t want to encourage cows with negative body image issues”
A joke about fat free milk was posted on Twitter by Krunal Sagan o August 27, 2010: "I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to encourage cows with negative body image issues…
“Exit signs are on the way out”
"Exit signs are on the way out" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Are exit signs on the way out?" was posted on newsgroup…
“She won’t techno for an answer”
"Techno" (a form of electronic dance music) sounds like "take no." A pun was posted on Twitter by "Shelf Side Spurs" on August 4, 2011: "My mates new girlfriend…
“Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped”
A gymnastics pun is: "Did you hear about the angry gymnast? He just flipped." The joke was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2012. “Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just…
“Irish I was drunk” (“Irish I were drunk”)
"Irish I was/were drunk" is a saying that is popular on St. Patrick's Day and has been printed on many gift items. Busted Tees came out with an "Irish I were drunk" T-shirt…
“I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk”
"I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.”—Me, after eating one healthy meal
"'I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.' -- Me, after eating one healthy meal" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. "Me after eating one healthy meal: i…