“Empty police cars are scarecrows for people”
When people see a police car by the side of the road, they tend to slow down -- whether the car is occupied or not. "Empty Police cars are scarecrows for people" was posted on Twitter on…
Archive for /P24540
“Free people don’t ask for permission”
"Free people don't ask for permission" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on several images. The saying means that free people don't have to ask (or beg) for…
“I hate when the debit/credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay”
"I hate when the debit/credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay? No. It's not. I want all this crap for a dollar" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying”
"The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Other than that, watch out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The only time a woman is helpless…
“North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary…”
"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere" is a famous line from the song "New York, New York" (1977), composed by John Kander, with lyrics by Fred Ebb. When North…
“I’m not above calling in sick from the parking lot”
People call in sick -- but from the parking lot of the job? "I'm not above calling in sick from the parking lot" is a work saying that been printed on several images. "I feel…
“I can’t turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast”
"I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast" is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on several images. "I may not be able to turn water into…
“A husband calls up the hotel manager from his room…” (joke)
A hotel joke has a man call up the hotel manager. "Help! My wife wants to jump out of your hotel window!" the husband says. "That's a personal problem," the hotel manager…
“What do you call a laughing piano?”/“A Yamahahahahaha.”
The Yamaha Corporation is the world's largest piano manufacturing company. A joke on the Yamaha name -- haha -- is: Q: What do you call a laughing piano?A: A Yamahahahahaha. The…
“A space heater makes a great housewarming gift”
What's a good housewarming gift? A space heater literally is a "house-warming" gift. "A space heater is the ultimate housewarming gift" was posted on Twitter on September…
Second Acting
"Second acting" (or "second-acting") a Broadway show is to wait for intermission, go in the theater with the crowd, sit in an empty seat and see the second act for free. A…
“Coffee—because bad mornings deserve a second chance”
"Coffee -- because bad mornings deserve a second chance" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Bad mornings deserve good coffee" was posted on Twitter on…
“Oh my God, a talking muffin!” (joke)
"The muffin joke" -- as the famous joke is called -- is really an anti-joke: "Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says, 'Boy, it sure is hot in here.' The other…
“In life, you are either a passenger or a pilot. It’s your choice”
"In life, you are either a passenger of a pilot. It's your choice" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 20,…
“Sharp as a marshmallow sandwich”
A marshmallow -- especially a toasted marshmallow -- is not sharp. "I'm as sharp as a marshmallow tonight" was cited in print in 1946. "Like I said, he's about as sharp as…
“A bicycle is just an acoustic motorcycle”
"A bicycle is just an acoustic motorcycle" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "How many other guys here ride a bike?"/"I ride an acoustic…
“When does a sandwich cook?”/“When it’s bakin’ lettuce and tomato.”
"Bacon" sounds like "bakin'." A riddle on the bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich (BLT) is: Q: When does a sandwich cook?A: When it's bakin' lettuce and tomato.…
“I know every single digit of pi. Just not in the right order”
The number π ("pi") is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. The first digits are 3.14159. "I know every digit of pi in base 10!…
“Coffee gives me the extra boost I need to begin a full day of talking about how tired I am”
People often talk about how tired they are, but how do they have the energy? "Coffee gives me that extra boost I need to begin a full day of talking about how tired I am" was posted on…
“I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn’t complain”
"I can't complain" usually means "I have no complaints," but it can also mean "I'm not allowed to complain." A joke about an oppressive governmental regime…