Bruised fruit usually can't be blamed on a bully, but there's a joke. "When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, 'Who did this to…
When a waiter says that a plate is "hot," that doesn't mean that a plate is sexually attractive. "The plate wasn't hot enough. Personally i'm never sexually attracted…
A hamburger riddle is: Q: Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? A: On a bed of lettuce! The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch.…
Alcoholics Anonymous is sometimes called "Al-Anon or "Anon." There are other "Anon" groups. "@realDonaldTrump needs to go to an On & On Anon meeting. It's a…
A "sommelier" is not necessarily from the African country of Somalia, but a pun was posted on the website PunGents.com on AUgust 19, 2013: "Who knows about African wines? A Somali,…
A train joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 22, 2017: Q: Do you take the train to work?A: No way, the train takes me. “What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train…
A classic riddle about Noah's Ark has been cited in print since at least 1906, from the Yonkers (NY) Statesman: Q: What kind of lights did Noah have in the ark?A: Arc lights. A different…
The children's picture book The Very Hungry Caterpillar (1969) is not a book of advice. People can't eat all they want, go to sleep and then wake up more beautiful than ever (in the…
American actor and comedian Bob Newhart has told a joke about country music since at least 1980: "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the…
A classic riddle about Noah's Ark has been cited in print since at least 1906, from the Yonkers (NY) Statesman: Q: What kind of lights did Noah have in the ark?A: Arc lights. A different…
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What's Santa's favorite sandwich?A: Peanut butter and jolly. The "jelly"/"jolly" pun was printed in many newspapers in December 1988. 3…
"A day without wine is like... Just kidding. I have no idea" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "An evening without wine is like.... Actually I have no idea what…
"Life is a soup and I'm a (fucking) fork" -- a utensil useless for drinking soup -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The song "(I'm Gonna) Kick You…
People say "Season's Greetings!" at the end of the year. A sheep riddle was printed in 1993: "QUESTION: What do sheep say at Christmas? ANSWER: Season's Bleatings." A…
"Red Bull gives you wings" is a slogan for Red Bull energy drink. A commercial in 2014 showed Santa Claus taking Red Bull -- and giving his reindeer Christmas day off. "If santa was…
A train joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 22, 2017: Q: Do you take the train to work?A: No way, the train takes me. “What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train…
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterWeird Santa V @weirdsavantWhat does a clergyman use to get rid of garden pests?Lettuce spray.4:43 PM - 31 Aug 2017 Reddit -- 3amjokesWhy is a salad shooter like…
People say "Season's Greetings!" at the end of the year. A sheep riddle was printed in 1993: "QUESTION: What do sheep say at Christmas? ANSWER: Season's Bleatings." A…
"Life is a soup and I'm a (fucking) fork" -- a utensil useless for drinking soup -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The song "(I'm Gonna) Kick You…
People usually don't die from drinking milk, but a popular riddle is: Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?A: The cow fell on top of her. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…