“How much does a bikini wax cost?”/“A Brazilian dollars.”
"Brazilian" (from Brazil) sounds like a large number (billion + gazillion). Several "Brazilian dollars" jokes involve Brazilian waxing, a bikini waxing style invented by the J.…
Archive for /P14300
“Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance”
"Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Laurie Halse Anderson wrote in Speak (1999):…
“You could give them a job sleeping and they’ll wake up and quit”
"This new generation does not like WORKING. You could give these MFs a job SLEEPING and they'll WAKE UP and QUIT" was printed in an image and posted on Facebook by Dino Shines on…
“Conspiracy Theorist: A person who doesn’t watch as much TV as you do”
"Conspiracy Theorist: A person who doesn't watch as much TV as you do" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The statement implies that television is mind control, but a…
“March 17 is over, please resume your normal nationality. See you all on May 5”
March 17th (St. Patrick's Day) and May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) are major Irish and Mexican ethnic holidays in the United States. A joke is told on March 18th, after St. Patrick's Day.…
“Waxing your bikini line shouldn’t cost a brazilian dollars”
"Brazilian" (from Brazil) sounds like a large number (billion + gazillion). Several "Brazilian dollars" jokes involve Brazilian waxing, a bikini waxing style invented by the J.…
“Whoever invented crotch waxing must have made a Brazilian dollars!”
"Brazilian" (from Brazil) sounds like a large number (billion + gazillion). Several "Brazilian dollars" jokes involve Brazilian waxing, a bikini waxing style invented by the J.…
“Reading can seriously damage your ignorance”
"Reading can seriously damage your ignorance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Reading can seriously damage your ignorance http://fb.me/6KM65AsrA" was posted…
“Here’s to you and here’s to me. May we never disagree” (toast)
"Here's to you and here's to me, the best of friends we'll always be. But if by chance we disagree, to hell with you and here's to me!" (or "Here's to you…
“Last night I made a lamb curry, but apparently they prefer grass”
There's a difference between making curry "of" a lamb and making curry "for" a lamb. "I made a lamb curry today, but it preferred grass" was posted on Twitter by…
“After 40, you can’t have Taco Bell and sex in the same day”
Taco Bell food can cause diarrhea. "You can't have Taco Bell and sex in the same day. It's just science" was posted on Twitter by Stoic Disnterest on July 13, 2015. "And if…
“I have added ‘extensive experience in dealing with stupid people’ to my resume”
"I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Elephants and asses are poisoning the masses”
"Elephants and asses are screwing the masses" -- referring to the political party symbols of the Republican elephant and the Democratic donkey -- is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Elephants and asses are killing the masses”
"Elephants and asses are screwing the masses" -- referring to the political party symbols of the Republican elephant and the Democratic donkey -- is a saying that has been printed on many…
“I don’t know why it’s called a ‘break room.’ It’s always full of people I need a break from”
A "break room" is for coffee breaks and lunch breaks that people (usually employees) in a building take. "I don't know why it's called a 'break room.' It's…
“Croutons are just mini garlic bread”
Croutons have been compared to garlic bread. "croutons are just tiny pieces of garlic bread" was posted on Twitter by Faith. on June 28, 2010. "Croutons are like mini garlic breads…
“Elephants and asses are conning the masses”
"Elephants and asses are screwing the masses" -- referring to the political party symbols of the Republican elephant and the Democratic donkey -- is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Here’s to you and here’s to me, the best of friends we’ll always be” (toast)
"Here's to you and here's to me, the best of friends we'll always be. But if by chance we disagree, to hell with you and here's to me!" (or "Here's to you…
“If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’m doing a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness”
"I'm running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness" was posted on Twitter by thotrey hepurn on February 16, 2017. That is, the lazy person is barely moving at all, just…
“If you’re not supposed to drink WD-40, why does it come with a straw?”
WD-40 is the trademark name of a water-displacing spray. A "smart straw" helps to spray the lubricant. "If they don't want you to drink the WD-40, why does it come with a…