“USPS Tracking: 1. We’re not sure it exists. 2. It’s arrived.”
The United States Postal Service's tracking system is, perhaps, not the best, and a joke has a parcel being tracked at the extremes. "USPS Tracking: 1. We're not sure it exists. 2.…
Archive for /P1020
“Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for people who avoided human contact like champions”
Cyber Monday sales can be just like Black Friday sales, but on Cyber Monday one shops from home and avoids the crowds of people. "Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for introverts who hate…
“Cyber Monday is just Black Friday in sweatpants with fewer witnesses”
Cyber Monday sales can be just like Black Friday sales, but on Cyber Monday one shops from home and avoids the crowds of people. "Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for introverts who hate…
“The Constitution was written for a country that no longer exists”
The Constitution of the United States was written in the 1780s. Is it an outdated document, or do its principles still apply today? "The constitution was written for a country that no longer…
“My favorite thing about humans may just be our ability to drench potatoes in mayonnaise and call it a salad with a straight face”
Many people do not view a potato salad (usually made without lettuce) as a salad. This was posted on X/Twitter by Troy Johnson on July 4, 2020, and it received over 750 likes: "My favorite…
“The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa”
The battery-operated game of Operation tests players' hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills, seemingly like a medical operation. Similar skills are required for dipping a tortilla chip…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? I can’t do this anymore”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow??? Fuck this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? I’m done”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Screw this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“How much turd do you put into a turducken?”
A "turducken" is a portmanteau food name after its ingredients -- turkey, duck and chicken. There is no "turd" in "turducken," but there are jokes. Wikipedia:…
“We battled” (Brooklyn Nets saying)
"We battled" is a saying of the New Jersey Nets (later the Brooklyn Nets)., meaning a valiant effort -- but a loss. Nets fans have often used it satirically. Avery Johnson was coach of…
“Dear Santa, Cash”
Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…
“Dear Santa, You leave cash”
Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…
“Dear Santa, You can leave cash”
Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…
“Dear Santa, I want money”
Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…
“November don’t got afternoons, just been morning & night”
It gets dark early in November. "November don't got afternoons, just been morning & night" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "november dont got afternoons,…
“This is the type of weather where you just stand in the shower half of the time doing nothing because the hot water feels good”
When the weather is cold, a hot shower feels especially good. This was posted on X/Twitter by "A" on November 18, 2025, and it received over 54,000 likes: "This is the type of…
“I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called linkedout”
LinkedIn is an American business and employment-oriented social networking service website. THere is no LinkedOut for unemployed or retired people, but there are jokes. "In these rough…