“Why shouldn’t you trust watermelons?”/“They’re seedy.”
"Seedy" has a double meaning, and there are several food jokes. "Why does your mom disapprove of sesame bagels? because they're seedy" was posted on Twitter by arleigh on…
Archive for 07/2020
“If I’m not home accepting what I can’t change, I’m probably out changing what I can’t accept”
The Serenity Prayer is: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." "If I'm not…
“‘There are no words in English that have all vowels in alphabetical order,’ he said facetiously”
A-E-I-O-U-Y are the English vowels, in order. There are several English words that
“Why can you never trust a fruit over a vegetable?”/“Because they’re seedy.”
"Seedy" has a double meaning, and there are several food jokes. "Why does your mom disapprove of sesame bagels? because they're seedy" was posted on Twitter by arleigh on…
“Texas is like hot yoga without the yoga”
"Hot yoga" is when yoga is performed under hot and humid conditions. Texas is hot, and many people have said that any yoga performed outdoors in Texas is hot yoga. "#Texas is like…
“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept”
The Serenity Prayer is: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." "If I'm not…
“Folks are mad at exactly one half of the ruling class and insist the other half will save us”
Many people are sick of the "good cop/bad cop" government game of Democrats and Republicans. "I'm really fucking sick of folks who are mad at exactly one half of the ruling…
“In Texas, ‘hot yoga’ is just called ‘yoga’”
"Hot yoga" is when yoga is performed under hot and humid conditions. Texas is hot, and many people have said that any yoga performed outdoors in Texas is hot yoga. "#Texas is like…
“Do you need a current license to drive an electric car?”
"Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 20, 2020. "Current" is a pun on…
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”/“No one knows. But the road will have his vengeance.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A pun on the word "cross" is: Q: Why did the chicken cross…
“How do you make extra virgin olive oil?”/“Use extra ugly olives.”
"Extra virgin" olive oil comes from the first cold press of the olives, but there are "virgin" jokes. "And where do you get extra virgin olive oil? From exceptionally ugly…
“I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda. It was a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“Sloppy joes are just drunk hamburgers”
English-American comedian John Oliver, host of the HBO television show Last Week Tonight, said on "Shallow Dives (Web Exclusive)" on YouTube on July 5, 2015: "Sloppy joes.…
“Is this real life or is this just Fanta sea?”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“Who decided to call it ‘marijuana possession’ and not ‘joint custody’?”
"Joint custody" usually does not involve marijuana, but there are jokes. "Why isn't marijuana possession called joint custody?" was posted on Twitter by Charlie Ernstes on…
“What should you use to fix your mask if it breaks?”/“Masking tape.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. Masking tape is not necessarily just for face masks, but there are jokes. "If I tear my mask, can I use…
“I had a dream that I was swimming in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea”
Fanta is a fruit-flavored carbonated drink (often orange flavor). "Fanta Sea" (fantasy) is a pun that has been printed on many images. "If Kel loves orange soda, swimming in it would…
“My ex tried to get my baby marijuana plants, but I was granted joint custody”
"Joint custody" usually does not involve marijuana, but there are jokes. "Why isn't marijuana possession called joint custody?" was posted on Twitter by Charlie Ernstes on…
“How do you color a cactus?”/“With a Sharpie.”
How sharp is a Sharpie writing instrument? This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 10, 2020: Q: How do you color a cactus?A: With a Sharpie. Wikipedia: Sharpie (marker)Sharpie is a…