“Pandemic jokes are the funniest because everyone gets it”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak was declared to be a pandemic, and this resulted in several jokes. "Pandemic jokes are only funny if everyone gets it" was posted on Twitter by Josh on…
Archive for 03/2020
“Recipe for an atomic salad: protons, neutrons, electrons and croutons”
"Recipe for an atomic salad: protons, neutrons, electrons and croutons" is a joke that was printed in Boys' Life in April 1987. "Crouton" sounds like it belongs with the…
“My friend is making easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…
“Right now in America, it is easier to get an AR-15 than toilet paper”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying and shortages in toilet paper and hand sanitizer. "Two weeks left to stock up cookies! They're a lot easier to get than toilet…
“Child with autism on board” (vehicle sign)
"Adult/Child/Children/Occupant/Passenger/Person/Teen with autism on board" printed on many images. The sign warns that this occupant may not be able to respond in an emergency. This is a…
“I never thought I would see the day when weed was easier to get than toilet paper”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying and shortages in toilet paper and hand sanitizer. "Two weeks left to stock up cookies! They're a lot easier to get than toilet…
“Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes”
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "Life is like a…
“My friend’s getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…
“Paranoia has reached absurd stages. I sneezed on my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak created much fear -- and a few jokes. "Purée la paranoïa du coronavirus s’étend je vient de toussé devant mon pc il a lancé un scan antivirus…"…
“Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole”
"Life is like (a) toilet paper. You're either on a roll or taking crap/shit from some asshole" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Life is like toilet…
“Adult with autism on board” (vehicle sign)
"Adult/Child/Children/Occupant/Passenger/Person/Teen with autism on board" printed on many images. The sign warns that this occupant may not be able to respond in an emergency. This is a…
“Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking crap from some asshole”
"Life is like (a) toilet paper. You're either on a roll or taking crap/shit from some asshole" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Life is like toilet…
“Suddenly, staying at home in underwear doing nothing is the most proactive thing you can do”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many people to stay at home and avoid public places. This was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on March 14, 2020: "Suddenly, staying at home in your…
“What do you call an expired avocado?”/“Guaca-moldy.”
"Guacamoldy" (guacamole + moldy) is a portmanteau word that is used for guacamole and/or avocado. A riddle was posted in the Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, WI) on April 5, 2004: Q:…
“I’m deeply disturbed by how many people seem to see washing their hands as a new thing”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused many news outlets to instruct people to wash their hands. A comment was posted on Twitter by Liz Buckley on March 2, 2020: "I’m deeply disturbed by…
“What do you call old guacamole?”/“Guacamoldy.”
"Guacamoldy" (guacamole + moldy) is a portmanteau word that is used for guacamole and/or avocado. A riddle was posted in the Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, WI) on April 5, 2004: Q:…
“Home schooled kids still have school” (snow/virus school closure joke)
When public school is closed (for a snow day, or for a virus, or for other reasons), students who are home schooled still have school. "One bad thing about being home schooled is that i school…
“The coronavirus? I’m not shaking hands because people are out of toilet paper”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak resulted in many people not shaking hands; the coronavirus also resulted in toilet paper shortages. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 8, 2020:…
“I always give 100%. Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker”
Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…
“You know that stash of food napkins in your glove box? It’s their time to shine”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak led to shortages in toilet paper. This was posted on Facebook by Heather Morgan on March 11, 2020: "You know that stash of food napkins in your glove box?…