“Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?”/“‘Rude’olph.”
A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…
Archive for 12/2019
“My dad always said, ‘The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more’” (joke)
The first rule of the theatre (show business) is 'always leave them wanting more" is a saying of unknown authorship. The premise is to leave the audience on a positive note, wanting more…
“All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house”
"All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a self-cleaning house and…
“Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?”/“‘Rude’olph.”
A Christmas riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) has bad manners?A: "Rude"olph. or Q: Which of Santa's reindeer(s) needs to mind his manners…
“Tough love”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Tough love The phrase tough love is believed to have originated with Bill Milliken's book of the same title in 1968. It is an expression used when someone…
“How did Santa kill a dragon?”/“He sleighed it.”
"Sleighed" sounds like "slayed." A Christmas riddle was posted on Twitter by galarian emolga on May 6, 2016: Q: How did Santa kill a dragon?A: He sleighed it. "Santa hit a…
“Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you…” (joke)
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…
“If you think your microwave and your TV spying on you is bad…” (joke)
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…
“What do you call a zombie who stir fries?”/“Dead Man Wokking.”
There have been several puns on the title of the fil Dead Man Walking (1995). "I've got the best idea for a movie. It's about a zombie who becomes a chinese food chef. I call it…
“If you think your microwave spying on you is bad, your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt”
Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…
“If you don’t use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car…”
Many people order drive-through fast food, then use the extra fast food napkins as "Kleenex" facial tissues. "If you don't use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, you must…
“Today in veterinary class we learned that cows have four stomachs…” (joke)
Gray's Anatomy is an English written textbook of human anatomy that was originally written by Henry Gray. Grey's Anatomy is an American medical drama television series that premiered on…
“Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if anyone gets a remote for Christmas…”
"Do not drink and wrap presents! Also if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I’m going to need that back!" was posted on Twitter by Yankee Jenn (and others) on December 15,…
“Bottled water companies don’t produce water, they produce plastic bottles”
"Bottled water companies don’t produce water, they produce plastic bottles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on…
“Let’s put the wheat where the goats can eat it”
"Let’s put the wheat where the goats can eat it" was said by Joe Scarborough on the MSNBC television show Morning Joe on December 13, 2019. Scarborough said to go slow on the…
“What’s a cow’s favorite TV show?”/“Graze Anatomy.”
Gray's Anatomy is an English written textbook of human anatomy that was originally written by Henry Gray. Grey's Anatomy is an American medical drama television series that premiered on…
“What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”/“You’re too young to smoke.”
A chimney riddle is: Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: "You're too young to smoke." The (cigarette) smoking joke has been cited in print since at least 1941.…
“Some herbs taste much better at Christmas. It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year”
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (1963) is a Christmas song that was recorded by singer Andy Williams (1927-2012). "Thyme" is a popular pun on the word…
“A fireman runs into a school clutching a screwdriver and shouts, ‘This is not a drill!’”
A "drill" (an exercise, such as a fire drill) should not be confused with a "drill" (a tool primarily used for making round holes or driving fasteners), but there are jokes.…
“Am I going to put the Christmas tree up myself? No, I’m going to put it up in the living room!”
A somewhat NSFW Christmas tree joke was posted on Twitter by Andy L Smith on December 18, 2009: "I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I…