“A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A platypus version is: "A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck. He finishes his…
Archive for 10/2019
Sears, Sawbuck & Co. (Sears, Roebuck and Company nickname)
The department store chain Sears, Roebuck and Company, founded in 1893, has had several nicknames. "Rears, Sawbuck & Co." was printed in the Jamestown (ND) Weekly Alert on May 11,…
Monkey Ward (Montgomery Ward nickname)
Montgomery Ward was an American retailer from 1871 to 2001. "Monkey Ward" was a popular nickname that the company tried unsuccessfully to discourage. The nickname was used by competitors…
“Never swear at a prop boy. You may be working for him tomorrow” (entertainment adage)
There are many different ways of the business saying: "Be kind to those working under you; you might be working under them some day." "Do not antagonize the newsboy today -- you may…
“Be nice to the janitor. You may be working for him tomorrow” (business adage)
There are many different ways of the business saying: "Be kind to those working under you; you might be working under them some day." "Do not antagonize the newsboy today -- you may…
“Be nice to the office boy. You may be working for him tomorrow” (business adage)
There are many different ways of the business saying: "Be kind to those working under you; you might be working under them some day." "Do not antagonize the newsboy today -- you may…
“I just can’t see myself wearing camouflage”
"Can't ever see myself wearing camouflage" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Doug on July 12, 2012. "I can't see myself wearing camouflage" was posted on Twitter…
“The best restaurant on this block” (restaurant sign joke)
A joke has rival restaurants posting "best restaurant in this city" and "best restaurant in this state" and "best restaurant in this country" signs. Finally, one…
“Never get a bread appetizer at an Indian restaurant. It’s a naan-starter”
Naan is a leavened, oven-baked flatbread. A naan appetizer, a joke goes, is a "naan-starter" (non-starter). "I thought I had a good idea for an Indian appetizer, but it was a naan…
“I don’t eat spinach. If I ate it I might like it, and I hate the damned stuff”
A joke is told about a person (usually an Irishman) who doesn't like lettuce/spinach/broccoli. The logic goes like this: "I don't eat lettuce/spinach/broccoli. If I ate it I might…
“The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli”
"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli" is a jocular line of mock literature from the New York City-based television sitcom Seinfeld, on…
“What do you call a vegetable that’s a dude and has a foodborn illness?”/“Bro Coli.”
"Broccoli" (a vegetable) is not derived from the words "bro" (brother) and "E. coli" (bacterium), but there are jokes. "BRO coli. The evil football watching beer…
“What does the sun drink out of?”/“Sunglasses.”
A drinking riddle is: Q: What does the sun drink out of?A: Sunglasses. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1995. 31 January 1995, The News Journal (Wilmington, DE), "Just for…
“Sweet fancy Moses!” (exclamation)
"Sweet fancy Moses!" is an exclamation that was used twice on the New York City-based television sitcom Seinfeld, on the episode "The Little Kicks" that was written by Andy…
“Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?”
"Gravity can be gravy all you need is to remove it" was posted on Twitter by "J ☆ ℅ ฿" on May 8, 2017. The word "gravy" plus the word "it" can form the…
“I got so much procrastinating done today”
"I got so much procrastinating done today" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Got up early so I could get more procrastinating done today. Only managed…
Ragamuffin Day
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Ragamuffin paradeA Ragamuffin parade is an annual occurrence in communities in the New York metropolitan area. The parades feature children in their Halloween…
“In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack” (joke)
"Muslims" shouldn't be pronounced "moose limbs," but there are jokes. "In Canada you are most likely to die of a moose kick than that of a terrorist attack. Those damn…
“What’s the fanciest kind of cheese?”/“Guccis.”
"Guccis" (a luxury Italian fashion brand) shouldn't be confused with "blue cheese" or "goat cheese," but there are jokes. "Person 1: blue jeans. Person 2…
“The race to Finland isn’t over until you cross the Finnish line”
A "finish line" isn't the same as a "Finnish line," but there are jokes. "When you're racing and you pass the last Lapp, you must be near the Finnish line"…