“My dad told me that I would make a great mime. I was speechless”
The "mime...I was speechless" joke has had several forms. "I remember the first time my parents told me I could never cut it as a mime. I was speechless" was posted on Twitter…
Archive for 10/2018
“A good percentage of my friends are Nazis. That percentage is zero”
"A good percentage of my friends" usually means a high percentage, but this is not always the case. A joke was posted on Twitter by Perri Cassie on August 16, 2017: "A good…
“Watch out for the idiot behind me” (bumper sticker)
"Watch out for the idiot behind me" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "WATCH OUT FOR THE IDIOT BEHIND ME" was printed in the Toronto (ON) Star…
“I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call” (joke)
A hotel "wake-up call" is usually a morning wake-up call, but some jokes have it as a "wake-up call" for one's life. "I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up…
“What do drugs have in common with cheese jokes? I don’t know, I just like meth and feta memes”
"Methamphetamines" sounds like "meth and feta memes." "Meth and feta memes" was posted on Twitter by ａｓｔｒｏｓｈａｗｎ on October 10, 2015. A riddle was…
“When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween”
"When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, May luck be…
“Witch you were here”
"Witch you were here" is a Halloween pun on the saying "wish you were here." The "witch" saying was printed on postcards, but the first date is uncertain.…
“Say boo and scary on”
"Say boo and scary on" is a Halloween saying that has been printed on many images. The saying borrows on the famous British World War II "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster.…
“Even the leaves fall for you”
"Even the leaves fall for you" is an autumn saying of romance that has been printed on many images. "The only way I can explain your appeal is this: even the leaves fall for…
“The cobwebs in my house just became decorations! Thanks, Halloween!”
"The cobwebs in my house just became decorations! Thanks, Halloween!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "#ScaryTrue The cobwebs in my house just became…
“What did the cold and angry man have for dinner?”/“A BrrrrGrrrrr.”
"Burger" is sometimes written as "BrrrrGrrrr," with the joking explanation that it's eaten by someone who is cold (brrrr) and angry (grrrr). "What did the hungry,…
“Why do cannibals eat readers, not writers?”/“Because writers cramp, but readers digest.”
At least two cannibal jokes involve the magazine name Reader's Digest. This riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984: Q: Why do cannibals eat readers, not writers?A: Because writers…
“Why don’t lawyers play hide-and-seek?”/“Nobody will look for them.”
A lawyer riddle is: Q: Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?A: Nobody will look for them. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. 10 September 1987, Seattle (WA) Times…
“Politicians and nappies should be changed often, and for the same reason”
"Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason" is a saying that has appeared on many images, but is of unknown origin. " "Eileen's…
“They should stock ATM’s better. I went to 4 different ones and they all said insufficient funds”
A bank's ATM might say "insufficient funds," but whose funds are insufficient? "dnt tell any1 but Standard bank,ABSA n FNB r bankrupt! Tried withdrawing money from them n they…
“Paint the town red”
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Oxford English Dictionary)paint, v.transitive. colloq. (orig. U.S.). to paint the town (red) (and variants): to enjoy oneself flamboyantly; go on a boisterous or…
Baloney (nonsense)
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Oxford English Dictionary)baloney | boloney, n. and int.Etymology: Commonly regarded as < Bologna n. (sausage) but the connection remains conjectural.slang (orig.…
Milquetoast (after Caspar Milquetoast)
"Milk toast" has been cited in print since at least 1831. It is toasted bread in warm milk, often with butter and other ingredients added to the toast. "Caspar Milquetoast" is a…
Baloney Dollar
Former New York Governor Al Smith (1873-1944), in an open letter to the New York State Chamber of Commerce published in the December 1933 New Outlook, stated that President Franklin D.…
Milk Toast (Milquetoast)
"Milk toast" has been cited in print since at least 1831. It is toasted bread in warm milk, often with butter and other ingredients added to the toast. "Caspar Milquetoast" is a…