“I’ve just fallen through the roof of a French bakery. I’m in a world of pain”
"Pain" is the French word for "bread." "If i was to open a french bakery, i'd call it 'world of pain'" was posted on Twitter by Jamie Scott on October…
Archive for 10/2018
Bag of Mystery (sausage)
Entry in progress -- B.P. (Oxford English Dictionary_bag of mystery n. (usually in pl. bags of mystery) slang a sausage or saveloy.1864 J. C. Hotten Slang Dict. (new ed.) 69. 1879 W. J. Barry Up…
“My wife ran off with a mustard salesman. She sent me a Dijon letter”
"Dear John letter" sounds a little like "Dijon letter." "We can assume that when a mustard heiress throws over her boyfriend she sends him a Dijon letter" was printed…
“What do you call a bookworm who gets eaten by a cannibal?”/“Reader’s Digest.”
At least two cannibal jokes involve the magazine name Reader's Digest. This riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984: Q: Why do cannibals eat readers, not writers?A: Because writers…
“I used to hate eating my greens as a kid. They tasted worse than the other crayons”
"Eating greens" means eating green-colored foods, but there are jokes. "I used to hate eating my greens as a kid...some reason they tasted worse than the other crayons" was…
“Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen”
"Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen" is a cake saying that has been printed on an image. The saying was posted on Twitter by Nundyrez on December 29, 2017. Twitter ♡ ⚰️…
“Happy as a witch in a broom factory” (“Happier than a witch in a broom factory”)
Witches, according to legend, fly on broomsticks. "Happy as a witch in a broom factory" (or "Happier than a witch in a broom factory") is a saying that has been printed on many…
The Friendly Firehouse (Ladder Co. 159, Brooklyn)
Ladder Co. 159 on East 48th Street near Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn has been called the "Friendly Firehouse" since at least the late 1990s, when a yellow smiley face was painted on the…
Might Take Awhile (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)
The Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is a New York State agency that (among other duties) operates New York City's subways and buses. The MTA has been nicknamed "May Take…
“There’s always that one pistachio that just tastes terrible”
Many people have noticed that in any bag of pistachios, there's always at least one pistachio that tastes absolutely terrible, spoiling the entire eating experience. "Theres always that…
“Art teachers tell you there’s no right or wrong in art, then tell you you’re wrong”
Many art teachers tell their students that there is no right or wrong in art, but then tell the students that their art is wrong. "Art teachers are all like 'there are no right or wrong…
Grand Central of Downtown (Chambers Street, Fulton Street)
Chambers Street (at City Hall) was once the heart of the New York City subway system in the early 1900s. It supposedly (according to articles in 2016 and 2018) was once called the "Grand…
“I have a Supreme Court figure—no appeal”
The U.S. Supreme Court is the highest court in the United States; there is no appeal of its decisions. "Tom Howard of 'It Pays to Be Ignorant' said that Lulu McConnell has a supreme…
“Football fields are for band practice”
Both the school football team and the marching band need practice, and they must share the same high school football field. A Funky Winkerbean newspaper comic strip by Tom Batiuk published on…
“If you can read this, I’m not impressed. Most people can read” (bumper sticker)
"If you can read this, I'm not impressed. Most people can read" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "If you can read this, you're too…
“Bank account empty like my soul”
"Bank account empty like my soul" is a self-deprecating saying that has been printed on many images. "Bank account empty , like my soul" was posted on Twitter by Alex on July…
“Does this truck make my neck look red?”
"Does this truck make my neck look red?" -- that is, a "redneck" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Does my truck make my neck look red?…
“How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“To get to the other side!”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. Another popular riddle is the "lightbulb joke," asking how…
“My family’s leaving me because of my obsession with horse racing. And they’re off!”
"They're off!" is a famous starting call in horse racing. "My wife and daughter are leaving because of my obsession with horse racing. And they're off!" was posted on…
“Red, white and booze” (“Red, white and boozed”)
"Red, white and booze" (or "Red, white and boozed") -- a drinking take on America's colors of red, white and blue -- has been printed on many images. "Red, white and…