“I am not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy”
"I am not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy" is a jocular shopping saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not a shopaholic, I'm just helping the…
Archive for 08/2018
“Nothing tops a plain pizza”
To say that "nothing tops" something usually means that it's the best, but what about a plain pizza without any toppings? A pizza joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on August 3,…
“Have you got anything smaller?” (taxi joke)
Taxi drivers often ask for small denominations of cash, and a NSFW joke refers to this. A woman gets into a taxi for a ride, and then says that she doesn't have money. She hikes up her dress…
“Trade wars are tariffying” (tariff + terrifying)
"Tariffying" )tariff + terrifying) is a political portmanteau word that has been infrequently used. "Merely tariffying a country like that is never going to terrify it!" was…
“Hey girl, are you a school?” (NSFW joke)
There have been many school shootings in the United States. A NSFW joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 4, 2016: "Hey girl are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside…
“Life is like a box of chocolates. I don’t have a box of chocolates”
"My momma always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get'" is a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump (1994). "My boyfriend is…
“The G spot is located at the end of the word ‘shopping’”
Where is a woman's G-spot? "My point G is at the end of the word SHOPPING !! :-)" was posted on Twitter by Magda* on April 21, 2009. "Where's my G-spot? At the end of the…
“What’s the difference between a candle and a curry?”/“A candle only burns at one end.”
A curry riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a candle and a curry?A: A candle only burns at one end. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. 23 July 1997, The Mirror…
“Cheat on your boyfriend, not on your workout”
"Cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, not on your workout" is a workout saying that has been printed on many images. "From our Swimming T-Shirt Last Year: Cheat on your Girlfriend,…
“Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your workout”
"Cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, not on your workout" is a workout saying that has been printed on many images. "From our Swimming T-Shirt Last Year: Cheat on your Girlfriend,…
“Why is chicken the sexiest meat?”/“Chicken strips.”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“Why did the rooster cross the road to KFC?”/“To see a chicken strip.”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“Where do cars get the most flat tires?”/“Where there is a fork in the road.”
A road riddle is: Q: Where do cars get the most flat tires? A: Where there is a fork in the road. The "fork in the road" joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google…
“Why did the rooster cross the road to KFC?”/“To see a chicken strip.”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?”/“To see the chicken strip.”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“Why did the rooster cross the road to KFC?”/“To see a chicken strip.”
Chicken strips are deep fried pieces of chicken meat. "Chicken strips" doesn't mean that chicken takes off its clothes (strips), but there are jokes. A "chicken strip club"…
“God has finally answered my prayers for winning the $15 million lottery. The answer is no”
Many people pray to win the lottery. "GOD FINALLY ANSWERED MY PRAYERS FOR WINNING 15 MILLIONS DOLLARS LOTTERY. THE ANSWER IS 'NO'" was posted on Twitter by αqυα on June 27,…
Pre-rich (euphemism for someone who is not rich)
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
Macaroni Monday
Entry in progress -- B.P. Other slang names for days of the week include Shunday, Sober Sunday, Margarita Monday, Messed-up Monday, Mojito Monday, Moonshine Monday, Boozeday Tuesday, Taco Tuesday,…
“I did not see that cumin”
"I did not see that cumin" -- like the saying "I did not see that coming" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "As a result of the oregano post, we…