“I wish I could do stand-up comedy, but I always punch up the fuckline”
"Punch up the fuckline" is a spoonerism for "fuck up the punchline." "My mates tell me that I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line" was posted…
Archive for 03/2018
Indiana: Indiana Insanity (basketball)
"Indiana Insanity” is a name for the annual high school basketball tournament that is held in Indiana in February/March. The term "Indiana Insanity" has been cited in print since…
“Why don’t cows ever have any money?”/“Because the farmers milk them dry.”
A cow riddle is: Q: Why don't cows ever have any money?A: Because the farmers milk them dry. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. 5 February 1993, Statesman Journal (Salem,…
Brooklyn Jawbreaker (bagel)
Bagels in New York City in the 1950s and 1960s were often difficult to chew. "The Bagel -- Automated and Frozen -- Is Gaining New Friends" by Jean Hewitt, printed in the New York (NY)…
“Beer is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist”
The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. "Beer is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Little…
Whack Ass Queens or Whack Ass Queenz (Queens)
"Crack is Wack" is a famous Manhattan mural that was painted by Keith Haring (1958-1990) in 1986. "Wack" or "whack" comes from "wack" or "whacky,"…
“Bread is like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist”
The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. "De Sun rise in de yeast, and de bread rise in de yeast" was printed in an 1840 newspaper. "Pomp, why am de sun like a loaf ob…
“The hardest lift of all is lifting your butt off the couch”
"The hardest lift of all is lifting your butt off the couch" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes the hardest part of working out is getting your…
“School is like a tutorial for life”
"School is basically the tutorial for life #realtalk" is a school saying that was posted on Twitter on September 1, 2012. "What if school is just like a tutorial for life" was…
“Sweat is magic. Cover yourself in it daily to grant your wishes”
"Sweat is magic. Cover yourself in it daily to grant your wishes" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Sweat is magic. Cover yourself in it every day to grant…
Immoral Robbery Service (Internal Revenue Service or IRS nickname)
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) collects revenue for the United States federal government. The IRS was nicknamed "Immoral Robbery Swindlers" on Twitter on January 12, 2017. A similar…
“This is not sweat. This is liquid awesome”
"This is not sweat. This is liquid awesome" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Its Not Sweat! Its Liquid Awesome!" was posted on Twitter on April 6,…
“To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner” (joke)
Many American citizens believe that their presidential votes do not count unless they live in a "swing state" -- that is, a contested state and one that is not a sure thing for Democrats…
“There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine”
"There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The wine saying was posted on Twitter…
Alphabet City (Google/Alphabet Inc. in Chelsea)
"Alphabet City" usually refers to the East Village of Manhattan neighborhood containing Avenues A, B, C and D. In 2017 and 2018, Google/Alphabet Inc. began buying up propertied in the…
The Block Beautiful (East 19th Street, Gramercy Park)
"The Block Beautiful" is the name for East 19th Street, between Third Avenue and Irving Place. A few old homes were saved from demolition and refurbished, and the nickname "The Block…
“Achieved a new personal best in the 100 yard dash today—43 yards”
Some people who run a dash, according to a joke, can't make it all the way. "I am proud to announce that I beat my personal best in the 100 meter dash. I made it 65 meters" was…
“Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day” (joke)
A popular proverb is: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” A joke variation is: "Give a man a plane ticket and he'll…
Alphabet City (Google/Alphabet Inc. in Chelsea)
"Alphabet City" usually refers to the East Village of Manhattan neighborhood containing Avenues A, B, C and D. In 2017 and 2018, Google/Alphabet Inc. began buying up propertied in the…
Wedding Cake of the West Side (The Ansonia)
The Ansonia is a residential building in Manhattan at 2109 Broadway, between West 73rd and West 74th Streets. It originally opened in 1904 as the Ansonia Hotel. According to Women's Wear Daily…