“A Nazi walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Nazi version is: "A Nazi walks into a bar...mitzvah, It did not go well."…
Archive for 03/2018
“What do you call an alligator in a vest?”/“An investigator.”
An alligator riddle that has been printed on images is: Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?A: An investigator. The alligator pun was posted on Twitter on September 20, 2010, but went viral…
“Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do”
People get distracted -- especially with social media -- when they have work to do. "Twitter becomes ten times more entertaining when you have work to do" was posted on Twitter on…
“Why didn’t 4 enter the haunted house?”/“Because it was 2 squared.”
A haunted house riddle is: Q: Why didn't 4 enter the haunted house?A: Because it was 2 squared. "2 squared" sounds like "too scared." The pun was posted on Twitter on July…
“The people stand up for royalty. The queen sits down for royal tea”
"Royalty" sounds like "royal tea." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day and then on the newsgroup Google Groups: alt.humor.puns on September 19, 1999: "The people…
“The internet becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do”
People get distracted -- especially with social media -- when they have work to do. "Twitter becomes ten times more entertaining when you have work to do" was posted on Twitter on…
“Twitter becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do”
People get distracted -- especially with social media -- when they have work to do. "Twitter becomes ten times more entertaining when you have work to do" was posted on Twitter on…
Gov’t Squad (Geek Squad nickname)
Best Buy is an electronics store, and its Geek Squad repairs some of those electronics. In 2017 and 2018, it was discovered that the Geek Squad works with the FBI to examine the contents of a…
“What kind of shoes does a plumber wear?”/“Clogs.”
A plumber riddle is: Q: What kind of shoes do plumbers wear? A: Clogs. The "clogs" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. “What kind of shoes do bakers…
“Abortion is not healthcare because killing isn’t healing”
"Abortion is not healthcare because killing isn't healing" is a pro-life saying that has been printed on many images. "Abortion is not healthcare" is a saying that has been…
“If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel”
Some people procrastinate a lot. A joke was posted on Twitter by Phil Plait on February 11, 2013: "If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel."…
“Restaurants are just gas stations for people”
Cars need fuel, but people need a certain fuel as well. "Starbucks is like the gas station for people" was posted on Twitter on September 22, 2009. "Coffee shops are like gas…
“Why don’t vegans take risks?”/“Because their life could be at steak.”
A vegan riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2018: Q: Why don't vegans take risks?A: Because their life could be at steak. “You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the…
“If you’re running to create electricity, then really you’re making elLEGtricity”
"Pedal power" to generate electricity has sometimes been called "elegtricity" (electricity + leg). "E-LEG-tricity. #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithABodyPart" was posted on…
“Coffee shops are just gas stations for people”
Cars need fuel, but people need a certain fuel as well. "Starbucks is like the gas station for people" was posted on Twitter on September 22, 2009. "Coffee shops are like gas…
“More time is spent checking a speedometer in a school zone than actually watching schoolchildren”
A driver passing through a school zone spends the most time looking...at the speedometer? "I was paying so much attention to my speedometer in a school zone that I ran over a kid. Sorry…
“What do you get from a forgetful cow?”/“Milk of amnesia.”
A cow riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you get from a forgetful cow?A: Milk of amnesia. "Absent-minded cows give milk of amnesia. -- J. C. Salak" was cited in print…
Dormitory of New York (Brooklyn)
Entry in progress -- B.P. "Brooklyn is the bedroom of New York" is a similar saying. Wikipedia: BrooklynBrooklyn (/ˈbrʊklɪn/) is the most populous borough of New York City, with a…
“Cheese is the savoury equivalent of chocolate”
Both cheese and chocolate are very popular foods. Cheese is savory (or "savoury"), but chocolate is sweet. "Cheese is savoury chocolate" was posted on Twitter on September 28,…
“I only carry rare coins. I have no common cents”
The term "rare coins" is often paired with "common cents" (a pun on "common sense"). "Thieves arrested after stealing nearly $69,000 in rare coins. So much for…