“Why was the cat so small?”/“Because it only ate condensed milk.”
A milk riddle is: Q: Why was the cat so small? A: Because it only ate condensed milk. The "condensed milk" joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksNoah's…
Archive for 03/2018
“After 8 beers I was dangerously weaving in the middle of the road…” (joke)
A drinking joke was posted on Twitter on October 28, 2012: "After finishing 10 pints I was weaving in the middle of the road. I thought, 'It'd probably be safer to make this basket…
“How much to buy a singing ensemble?” (choir joke)
"A choir" sounds like the word "acquire." A joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on February 27, 2018: ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble?PRODUCER: You mean a choir?ME:…
“Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he’ll rob the world”
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime” is a popular proverb. "Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank. Give a man a bank…
“Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?”
"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" is a jocular one-liner that American stand-up comedian Steven Wright used in his act since at least 1986. "Do you need a silencer if…
“I’m so strong I can lift a house! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- cleanjokesMy doctor told me to cut down on sodium. (self.cleanjokes)submitted March 15, 2018 by chacham2I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
“Squats? I thought you said shots”
"Squats? I thought you said, 'Let's do shots'" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images. "Ohh squats..I thought you said shots" was posted on…
“Frog parking only. All others will be toad”
"Broomstick/Frog/Princess/Witch parking only. All others will be toad" -- a pun on "towed" -- is a jocular sign that has been printed on many images. "Witches Parking Only…
“Witch parking only. All others will be toad”
"Broomstick/Frog/Princess/Witch parking only. All others will be toad" -- a pun on "towed" -- is a jocular sign that has been printed on many images. "Witches Parking Only…
“Broomstick parking only. All others will be toad”
"Broomstick/Frog/Princess/Witch parking only. All others will be toad" -- a pun on "towed" -- is a jocular sign that has been printed on many images. "Witches Parking Only…
“Princess parking only. All others will be toad”
"Broomstick/Frog/Princess/Witch parking only. All others will be toad" -- a pun on "towed" -- is a jocular sign that has been printed on many images. "Witches Parking Only…
Indiana: Midwest Madness (basketball)
"Midwest Madness” is an infrequently used name for the annual high school basketball tournament that is held in Indiana in February/March. The article "Midwest Madness," by John R.…
“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first”
"You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. That is, one must fill one's self up before…
Indiana: Hoosier Hoopla (basketball)
"Hoosier Hoopla” is a name for the annual high school basketball tournament that is held in Indiana in February/March. The term was popularized by the article "I'll Take Hoosier…
Indiana: Hoosier Hysteria (basketball)
"Hoosier Hysteria" is a name for the annual high school basketball tournament that is held in Indiana in February/March. The term "Hoosier hysteria" has been cited in print…
“It’s not rocket salad”
"It's not rocket science" means "it's not complicated." "It's not rocket salad" is a jocular variation with no special meaning. "It's not…
“Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies”
HTTP cookies are not food, but there are jokes. "I went to a coping with diabetes website but they tried to insist I accept cookies" was posted on Twitter on May 5, 2009. "I've…
“I’m so strong I can lift buildings! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies”
HTTP cookies are not food, but there are jokes. "I went to a coping with diabetes website but they tried to insist I accept cookies" was posted on Twitter on May 5, 2009. "I've…