“I took levitation classes once, but I dropped out”
People "drop out" of school -- but levitation school? "Just dropped out of levitation school" was posted on Twitter by donni saphire on April 7, 2015. "I took levitation…
Archive for 02/2018
“Never trust anyone who smiles on a Monday”
"Never trust anyone who smiles on a Monday" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Monday is the traditional start to the work week. "Never trust anyone who smiles…
“The ‘mac’ in mac and cheese is also an acronym for ‘mac and cheese’”
"Mac" stands for "macaroni." "MAC" is also an acronym for "mac and cheese." "I suppose MAC could also be a recursive acronym for MAC And Cheese. But…
“Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a hotel.”/“Can I examine you?”/“Be my guest.”
A hotel joke is: DISTURBED PERSON: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a hotel.DOCTOR: Can I examine you?DISTURBED PERSON: Be my guest. The joke was posted on Twitter on November 26, 2015.…
“What’s a skier’s favorite lunch meat?”/“Slalami.”
The skiing term "slalom" is sometimes jokingly combined with "salami" to form the portmanteau word "slalami" or "slalomi." "The Slalami Promise: No more…
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there”
"Moderation in all things" or "Everything in moderation" is an old proverb. A joke was posted on Twitter on October 17, 2013: "I heard there was a new store called…
“How do you start a pudding race?”/“Sago.”
A riddle about sago pudding is: Q: How do you start a pudding race?A: Sago (say go). The "sago"/"say go" pun has been cited in print since at least 1978. “How do you start a…
“Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning”
"Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning" is a one-line saying that is usually work-related. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's Humor on April 9, 2013.…
“What’s a skier’s favorite lunch meat?”/“Slalomi.”
The skiing term "slalom" is sometimes jokingly combined with "salami" to form the portmanteau word "slalami" or "slalomi." "The Slalami Promise: No more…
“What do you call a cow on stilts?”/“Raising the steaks.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a cow on stilts?A: Raising the steaks. "The steaks are too high" punchline was posted on the newsgroup uk.rec.motorcycles on June 21, 2005. Google…
“Never trust anyone who smiles before their first cup of coffee”
"Never trust anyone who smiles before their first cup of coffee" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Never trust anyone who smiles before morning…
“There’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito”
"There's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito/pizza" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…
“What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?”/“Havarrrrrti.”
A pirate riddle about cheese is: Q: What's a pirate's favorite cheese?A: Cheddarrrr / Havarrrrrti / Yarrrrrrrrlsberg. "'Pirate's favorite cheese?'…
“Today is one of those days where even my coffee needs coffee”
"Today is one of those days where even my coffee needs coffee" is a jocular one-line coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "Even my coffee needs coffee this…
“If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?”
"If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Who's the idiot who called it cowboy clothes instead of…
“What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?”/“Yarrrrrrrrlsberg.”
A pirate riddle about cheese is: Q: What's a pirate's favorite cheese?A: Cheddarrrr / Havarrrrrti / Yarrrrrrrrlsberg. "'Pirate's favorite cheese?'…
“I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions”
"I don't need alcohol to make bad deicisons" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "I don't need alcohol to make poor decisions..." was…
“I make serious coffee—so strong it wakes up the neighbors”
Strong coffee can wake a person up, but the neighbors, also? "I make serious coffee -- so strong is wakes up the neighbors" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many…
“If you can’t make both ends meet, make one end a vegetable”
The expression "make ends meet" shouldn't be confused with "make ends meat," but there have been puns. A joke was printed in the New York (NY) Herald on August 5, 1877:…
“Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions”
"I don't need alcohol to make bad deicisons" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "I don't need alcohol to make poor decisions..." was…