A "joke" has it that law enforcement officers beat up a suspect, then lie about it: Q: How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?A: None. He fell. "Q: How many…
Some people believe that carrot cake is healthier than other cakes because carrots are vegetables. Also, the word "carrot" has more letters than the word "cake." Dave Hughes…
If an astronomer watches the night skies, does that make him a night watchman? A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1986: Q: What is an astronomer?A: A night watchman with a college…
Earphones tend to get tied into knots. An knock-knock joke is: "Knot knot.""Who is there?""Earphones." The joke was posted on Twitter by Humourologist on September…
Many newspapers have a "help wanted" section. Kelp isn't that wanted, but there's a riddle: Q: Where does seaweed go to look for a job?A: The "Kelp Wanted" section of…
"In God we trust” was the motto of a Philadelphia regiment in 1748. Francis Scott Key’s “Star Spangled Banner” (1814) contains the words “In God is our trust.” The association of…
"There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol has on walking... the result was staggering" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by…
A "Great Dane" is a dog; a "danish" is a pastry. "What do you get when you cross wonderful baking skills and a very large dog? A great danish" was posted on Twitter on…
A "selfieccino" (selfie + cappuccino) is a "selfie" image made on top of a cappuccino (or other coffee). "#selfieccino" was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2014. The…
A "porcupine" (a mammal) has nothing to do with a "poor queue," but there have been puns. "A prickly tree standing in line with other trees waiting for a handout during the…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke version is: "A janitor, a waitress, and a bartender walk into a bar. Then…
"Lechislator" (lecher/lecherous + legislator) and "lechislature" (lecher/lecherous + legislature) are portmanteau words that have been infrequently used. "LECHISLATOR:…
A saying about water was posted on Twitter by "i'm caleb" on May 25, 2016: "I love how all these so-called 'vegans' still drink water. That's a fish's house…
“Nice place you got here. Be a shame if anything happened to it” is gangster talk from at least the 1920s. The speaker wants to extort money from the establishment. "That's a nice ham…
"Resolution" is sometimes mis-typed as "revolution." "My new year's revolution is to proofread my tweets more carefully" was posted on Twitter on December 27,…
American-born UK-based jazz singer and entertainer Adelaide Hall (1901-1993) and her husband, Bertram Hicks, opened a nightclub called La Grosse Pomme (French for "The Big Apple") in…
To "make six figures" is to earn at least $100,000 -- unless one is, literally making six figures. "If you can say 'I made six figures last year,' you either have a well…
“Lazy rule: If ice falls, kick it under the refrigerator” is a rule about dropped ice cubes. Does the ice then become "water under the fridge" (a pun on "water under the…
English writer and comedian Tim Vine has a frequently told one-line joke about dicing carrots: "I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper -- dicing with…
A new year's resolution joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 12, 2016: "Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said 'fuck…