“Watch repairmen always get to work on time”
Who always gets to work on time? A pun was posted on Twitter on June 8, 2011: "Watch repairmen always get to work on time." TwitterIB @MagnumXIIRT @rodney_at_large: Watch repairmen…
Archive for 11/2017
“I went fishing today with my two friends, Rod and Annette”
Who's the best couple to go fishing with? Rod and Annette (a net), of course! "What do you call a Genestealer and a Sister of Battle fishing? Rod and Annette" was posted on the…
“Why do midgets make bad parents?”/“Because they struggle to put food on the table.”
The struggle to "put food on the table" usually refers to the struggle to make enough money to afford to buy food -- and not physically putting food on the table. A riddle on the…
“I never use body butter. I don’t want to make myself irresistible to cannibals”
There's a difference between dairy butter (a food product) and body butter (a skin product), but a joke is: "I never use body butter. I don't want to make myself irresistible to…
“Watch repairmen always get to work on time”
Who always gets to work on time? A pun was posted on Twitter on June 8, 2011: "Watch repairmen always get to work on time." TwitterIB @MagnumXIIRT @rodney_at_large: Watch repairmen…
“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place”
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place" is a popular parking joke from American stand-up comedian Steven Wright. Wright said on his…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving”
"A little birdie told me my golf skills are improving" is a pun on the two meanings of "birdie." The joke was posted on Twitter on May 12, 2011. Wiktionary: birdieNounbirdie…
“I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table”
"I work as a waiter and, no, the pay isn’t great, but I put food on the table" is a popular joke about the job of a waiter. "I work as a waiter. The pay isn't great but I put…
“Big Apple” explained in a movie (Barney’s Version film, 2010)
The origin of "Big Apple" was explained in the 2010 Canadian comedy-drama film Barney's Version, with a screenplay by Michael Konyves. This dialogue does not appear in the novel…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“A Smurf walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Smurf version is: "A Smurf walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why so…
“Big Apple” answer on “Final Jeopardy!” (2009)
The etymology of "Big Apple" was used on the television game show Jeopardy! as a "Final Jeopardy!" question on July 1, 2009. The answer:"A 19th century gambling term…
“Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens”
"Cooking is like golf. You slice it, chip it, and put it on some greens" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'Cooking Is Like Golf' Novelty Chef…
“If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?”
"If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?" is a jocular winter question. The one-liner was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on December 13,…
“No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up”
A car alarm serves a different purpose than an alarm clock, but there is a one-line saying: "No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up." The joke was posted on Twitter…
“Pinterest is Instagram for moms”
Pinterest is an information-sharing website that quickly became popular with women. Instagram is an internet-based photo-sharing application that draws younger-age users. "Pinterest seems like…
“Girl, are you a popsicle?” (joke)
"Are you a popsicle?" is the start of at least two different jokes. Popsicle sticks often have (mostly bad) jokes. "Are you a popsicle stick? because your jokes aren't…
“A cashier asked me if I wanted paper or plastic. I said, ‘Just put the money in a bag!!’”
A cashier often gives a customer a choice of bags and asks, "Paper or plastic?" A joke situation occurs when a robber asks to put money in a bag. "Robber: put the money in the bag!!…