“Failed at making an omelet, so now I’m having scrambled eggs”
"Failed at making an omelet, so now I'm having scrambled eggs" is a jocular saying about preparing eggs that has been printed on many images. "Attempted to make an omelet this…
Archive for 06/2017
“Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly”
"Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly" is a jocular one-line saying about wifi that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“For many people, ‘live and learn’ is one task too many”
"Live and learn" is an old saying. "For many people, 'live and learn' is one task too many" is a variation on this saying that was posted on Twitter by "God"…
“Needing insurance is like needing a parachute…”
An insurance saying -- sometimes jocularly attributed to Confucius -- that has been printed on many images is: "Confucius Say: Needing insurance is like needing a parachute. If it isn't…
“When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some nice old lady”
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying from the early 1900s. An anti-joke variation is: "When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some…
Longest Street in America (Broadway)
Broadway has sometimes been called "the longest street in America." "And our Great White Way is the brightest spot in the universe. The finest parks in the world are here. And the…
“What’s the fastest fast food?”/“Lamb-burger-inis.”
A fast food riddle is: Q: What's the fastest fast food?A: Lamb-burger-inis. The fast food joke was posted on the website PunGents on March 26, 2015. Wikipedia: LamborghiniAutomobili…
Longest Street in America (Broadway nickname)
Broadway has sometimes been called "the longest street in America." "And our Great White Way is the brightest spot in the universe. The finest parks in the world are here. And the…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“If money talks, they why do we need bank tellers?”
"Money talks” (meaning that money has influence) is an old financial saying, cited in print in various forms from before 1700. "Money talks" was printed in several American…
“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”
"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…
“How do they charge you in a Chinese restaurant?”/“Perpetuate.”
The word "perpetuate" sounds like "per pet you ate." A riddle is: Q: How do they charge you at a Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese restaurant?A: Perpetuate. "Dog show joke is like…
“Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?”/“Because they can only use OneNote!”
Microsoft OneNote is a digital note-taking app. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 6, 2017: Q: Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?A: Because they can only use OneNote! Wikipedia:…
“Deciding whether to buy gold or silver is an either ore situation”
"I've been called a rare commodity. I wonder if that makes me silver or gold? I guess I could be either ore" is a gold and silver pun that was posted on the website Pun of the Day on…
“Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?”/“Because they can only use OneNote!”
Microsoft OneNote is a digital note-taking app. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 6, 2017: Q: Why is Microsoft so bad at writing music?A: Because they can only use OneNote! Wikipedia:…
“What do you call a sad watermelon?”/“Melancholy.”
A watermelon riddle is: Q: What do you call a sad watermelon?A: Melancholy. "Melon-choly" or "melon-cholic" are sometimes given as answers in the joke. "Oh yeah, me and my…
Counterfeit News Network (CNN nickname)
The Cable News Network (now called CNN) began in 1980 as the first all-news 24-hour television network. Some CNN critics have given the network the backronym (back acronym) of "Counterfeit…
“CNN said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who does the world owe? Jupiter?”
"CNN said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who does the world owe? Jupiter?" is a jocular line about the world's debt that has been printed on many images.…
“Bucket list: 1. Bucket, 2. Ice, 3. Beer”
A "bucket list" is a list of things to do before one "kicks the bucket" (dies). "My Bucket List: Ice, Beer" is a jocular "bucket list" that has been printed…
“Lazy rule: If you can’t reach it, you don’t need it”
"Lazy rule: If you can't reach it, you don't need it" (or "Lazy rule: Can't reach it, don't need it") is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on…