A popular lawyer joke is: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?A: You cry when you cut up an onion. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. "What’s the…
"Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar, and alarm clock. Don't let it replace your family" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Your…
"I opened two gifts this morning. They were my eyes" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on December 25, 2014. TwitterJ…
"Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office -- I will track you down. You have my Word" is a Microsoft Office-Word pun that has been printed on many images. The joke was posted on…
Championship athletes often get rings. A joke about the fans of non-winning teams (the Mets, in this example) is: Q: What's the best part of dating a Mets fan?A: You know she's not…
"I hate people who refuse to let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst" is a jocular one-line saying about debt collection. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 26, 2014.…
"If you think you've got nothing to be thankful for...check your pulse" is a one-line inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been popular on church…
Golfers sometimes curse when the ball doesn't roll their way. A "Golf Joke of the Week," was printed in the Star-Gazette (Elmira, NY) on June 16, 1989: "Why does golf have the…
"No job too small" is what some companies advertise. A joke is: "Found a builder who advertises 'No job too small' so I've got him tiling the bathroom in my…
"The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter and the spirit heals with joy" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Humorist and author Mike Moore…
The Belmont Stakes is the last race of thoroughbred racing's Triple Crown. Belmont Park advertised in June 1987 that it was "The Championship Track." "The Championship…
"Pig" is slang for a policeman, and this is used in a popular joke. A teacher asks her class (Detroit is often the location), "What sound does a cat make?" "Meow!"…
"Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake" is a one-line saying about trust that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on March…
"No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up!" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Sunday Morning, Get up, Dress up, Show up and…
"At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song" is a jocular one-line saying about working out. The saying was posted on Twitter by Aaron Fullerton on June…
A "pizzeria" is a pizza restaurant. "Pizzarrhea" (pizza + diarrhea) is a jocular portmanteau word about getting "pizza shits." "What do you get when you eat a…
Some food is listed as "wild," although many suspect that it's really farm-raised. A joke is: Diner: Waiter, is this boar/duck/meat/rabbit/salmon really wild?Waiter: When we…
"A knight in shining armor is a man who's never had his metal truly tested" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that one must go…
"Don't/Never put the/your key to happiness in someone else's pocket" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'Don't put the key to your…
A popular pun is: Q: What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down stairs?A: A condescending con descending. "A condescending con descending" was a "Cryptoquip" puzzle…