“Drink protein shakes today because there’s no whey in hell”
"There's no way in hell" (no way at all) is a common expression, often punned as "no whey in hell." "I heard they banned cheese production there (a place called…
Archive for 07/2016
Mental Attack To Healthy Students (“maths” backronym)
"Mental Attack To Healthy Students" is a jocular "maths" backronym (back acronym) that has been printed on several images. "Teacher: What is maths?Student: Mental Attack To…
Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students (“maths” backronym)
"Mental Affected Teachers Harassing Students" is a jocular "maths" backronym (back acronym) that has been printed on several images. "MATHS:Mentally Affected Teachers…
“It’s called ‘celery’ because ‘cold, wet plant bones’ takes too long”
Many people don't like celery. Actress and comedian Abbi Crutchfield tweeted on December 8, 2013: "It's called 'celery' because 'cold, wet plant bones' takes too…
“I will start working when my coffee does”
"I will start working when my coffee does" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs, posters and T-shirts. "I start working when the coffee…
“The West wasn’t won with a registered gun”
"The West wasn't won with a registered gun" is a pro-gun slogan that began in western states such as Idaho, Utah and Alaska. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1968.…
“My wife left a note on the fridge that said ‘This isn’t working’” (joke)
A popular joke about a refrigerator is: "My wife left a note on the fridge that said 'This isn't working I'm going to my mom's.' I opened up the fridge. The light was…
“Trade him for a six pack. It doesn’t even have to be cold”
NFL football coach Buddy Ryan (1931-2016) didn't hide his opinions. In 1986 training camp when Ryan was head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, he wasn't impressed with running back…
“I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy”
"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy" is a pro-gun slogan that has been printed on many gift items, such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and posters. The saying has been cited in print…
“I will start working when my coffee does”
"I will start working when my coffee does" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs, posters and T-shirts. "I start working when the coffee…
“Independence Day—celebrating the country by blowing up a small part of it”
The Simpson, an American animated sitcom, aired an episode on May 19, 1996 where Homer Simpson bought fireworks. The Valu-Mart clerk said: "The M-320: Celebrate the independence of your nation…
“What did one loaf of bread say to the other?”/“Weirdo.”
A bread pun is: Q: What did one loaf of bread say to the other?A: Weirdo. (We're dough.) The pun was posted on Reddit on July 3, 2016. Twitterlil white dad@itismeE_A_DWe're dough!!…
“Why did the balloon burst?”/“Because it saw a lolly pop.”
A lollipop riddle is: Q: Why did the balloon burst?A: Because it saw the lollipop. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. 15 April 1984, The Sun-Herald (Sydney, Australia), pg. 84…
“Fight crime—shoot back”
"Fight crime -- shoot back" is a pro-gun slogan that has been printed on many bumper stickers.The bumper sticker has been printed since at least 1982, when a police chief in Terre Haute,…
Cathedral of Asphalt (Asphalt Green)
The former Municipal Asphalt Plant (now a sports facility called Asphalt Green) opened in 1941 at East 90st Street and York Avenue in Manhattan. New York Parks Commissioner Robert Moses (1888-1981)…
“The people have spoken—the bastards!”
Democratic politician and strategist Dick Tuck ran for the California State Senate in 1966, but finished second in a crowded field. When asked by a television newsman for his reaction, Tuck said:…
“Control the controllables” (business adage)
"Control the controllables" is a popular saying in business, government and sports. One should control what one can control and not stress about the uncontrollable factors.…
“How do you say goodbye in Arabic?”/“BOOM!”
"How do you say goodbye in Arabic?" is the start of a joke about Islamic terrorism. "How do you say goodbye in Arabic?....Press the detonator" was cited on Twitter on April 23,…
“Yo mama is so dumb, she uses Old Spice for cooking”
Old SPice is the name of an American brand of male grooming products> It's not a spice, but there's a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama is so dumb, she uses Old Spice for…
Brooklyn Grit
"Brooklyn grit" has been used to describe the tough, working class borough. The term "brooklyn grit" has been cited in print infrequently since a least 1875. The Brooklyn Nets…