“How do you cook a crocodile?”/“In a ‘croc’ pot.”
Crockpots aren't for cooking crocodiles, but there are jokes. "JOHN ESTES wondering if alligator is cooked in a 'croc pot'" was printed in the Hanford (CA) Sentinel on…
Archive for 06/2016
“What’s the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?”
The Holocaust (Nazi Germany's crimes against Jews and others in the 1930s and 1940s) developed into an industry, with many charities, books and films. Some people have been accused of…
“Hello Brooklyn”
"Hello Brooklyn" is a popular saying the borough. There was a 1928 burlesque called "Hello, Brooklyn." "Adios Manhattan and hello Brooklyn" was printed in a 1986 book.…
“What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?”/“You can’t milk a cow for X years.”
The September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were a national tragedy, but some have been accused of profiting (or "milking") the tragedy too much for personal…
“It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know”
"It's not what you know, but who you know" is an old saying. A jocular take on the saying is: "It's not who you know, it's whom you know." The "whom you…
“I missed the cosmetics exam. I had to do a makeup test”
When a student misses or fails an exam, he or she often has to take a "makeup test." It does not involve cosmetics, but there are several puns, such as this one from 2002: "The other…
“Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins”
A popular archaeology pun is: "Daffynishion: Archaeologist — Someone whose career lies in ruins." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1963. Google BooksSeptember 1963,…
“My favorite position is CEO” (“A woman’s favorite position is CEO”)
"My favorite position is CEO" (or "A woman favorite position is CEO") is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and coffee…
“How do construction workers party?”/“They raise the roof.”
To "raise the roof" means to show great enthusiasm, but it's taken literally in the pun: Q: How do construction workers party?A: They raise the roof. The joke was posed on the…
“Yo mama is so dumb, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball”
Parking meters -- at least the old ones -- accept quarters, and there's a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a…
“What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?” (joke)
A traffic light joke is: Q: What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?A: "Don't look! I'm changing!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993.…
“Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense”
'Honesty is the best policy" is an old proverb. "Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I didn’t ask you to dance. I said you look fat in those pants”
A classic failed pickup line -- and snarky response -- is: Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: No! Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants. The joke has been cited in print…
“I tell new hires, ‘Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you’”
A popular work one-liner is: "I tell new hires, 'Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.'" "Boss = a friend who can fire you" was…
“Why do beers on airplanes cost so much?”/“You’re paying for the atmosphere.”
The food and drinks served on airplanes can be expensive, and there's a joke: Q: Why do beers on airplanes cost so much?A: You're paying for the atmosphere. The joke was cited on Reddit…
“Why do beers on airplanes cost so much?”/“You’re paying for the atmosphere.”
The food and drinks served on airplanes can be expensive, and there's a joke: Q: Why do beers on airplanes cost so much?A: You're paying for the atmosphere. The joke was cited on Reddit…
Catskill Mountains: Catskill Mountain Rock
The Paul Luke Band formed in the 1990s and plays what it calls "Catskill Mountain rock" -- country/rock from the Catskills. The music term is exclusively used by the Paul Luke Band,…
“If we are to live together, we have to talk”
Former U.S. first lady Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) met with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971) at her Manhattan home in October 1960. Roosevelt explained the situation (as cited in the…
“A skyscraper is a machine that makes the land pay”
"The building is merely the machine that makes the land pay," architect Cass Gilbert (1859-1934) said in 1900 about the new skyscrapers popping up in big cities. Gilbert would become even…
“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm”
"Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm" is a quotation credited to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) that has been printed on many images. Lincoln was helping Rebecca R.…