“Why can’t diabetics get vengeance?”/“Because vengeance is sweet.”
"Revenge is sweet" is a proverb that dates to at least the 16th century. "Revenge, why can't diabetics get revenge? Because revenge is sweet!!!" was cited on Twitter on…
Archive for 04/2016
“Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg”
The expression to cost "an arm and a leg" means something very expensive. A popular cannibal joke is: "Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a…
“What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?”/“A matzochist.”
A popular Passover joke is: Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?A: A matzochist. The "matzochist" (matzo + masochist) joke has been cited in…
“Get crackin’” or “Get cracking” (removing shells from eggs, nuts)
"Get cracking" (or "get crackin'") means to get started (or "get to work"). The "cracking" probably comes from the crack of the whip, as applied to…
“What’s the difference between the Pope and your boss?”/“The Pope only makes you kiss his ring.”
A popular workplace joke is: Q: What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?A: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. That is, your boss wants you to kiss his ass. The joke has…
“What’s a lawyer’s ideal weight?”/“About three pounds, including the urn.”
A popular lawyer joke is: Q. What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?A. About three pounds, including the urn. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. Google Books The Postal…
“Children, if you are tired, keep going; if you want to taste freedom, keep going”
Abolitionist Harriet Tubman (1822-1913) is frequently credited for the admonition to escaped slaves traveling in the Underground Railroad: "Children, if you are tired. keep going. If you are…
“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves”
American abolitionist Harriet Tubman (1822-1913) is often credited with saying: "I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed thousands more, if they had known they were slaves." There…
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer”
A quote about dreams appeared in the Winnipeg (Manitoba) Free Press on October 15, 2005: "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the…
“Need an ark? I Noah guy”
"Noah" saounds like "know a," prompting this pun that was viral on Twitter on September 8, 2010: "Do you need to build an ark to save two of every creature? I Noah…
“‘Let’s eat, grandma’ or ‘let’s eat grandma’—punctuation saves lives!”
"'Let's eat, grandma' or 'let's eat grandma' -- punctuation saves lives!" (or "commas save lives") has been printed on many images.…
FauxPEC (faux + OPEC)
The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) is an organization that generally tries to raise oil prices and make more money for its member countries. On April 20, 2016, it was…
“Thomas Edison walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving prolific inventor Thomas Edison (1847-1931) is: "Thomas Edison…
“A nonrenewable natural resource walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A science joke is: "A non-renewable natural resource walks into a bar and orders a…
Idaho: Idaho (state name etymology)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: IdahoIdaho (/ˈaɪdəhoʊ/) is a state in the northwestern region of the United States. Idaho is the 14th largest, the 39th most populous, and the 7th least…
“How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?” (joke)
The popular "lightbulb joke" doesn't have one standard version that involves politicians. "How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?" was cited as a…
“Hot sauce in my bag”
Many people with Southern roots say that they carry "hot sauce in my bag" -- a reflection that much of America serves bland food. The term "hot sauce in my bag" also possibly…
“What did the salt say to the pepper?”/“Season’s greetings.”
A joke about salt and pepper shskers is: Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?A: Season's greetings. The food joke has been cited in print since at least 1995. “What did the salt say to…
“How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (lawyer joke)
The "lightbulb joke" has a version that involves lawyers: Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It depends on how many you can afford. This joke has been cited in…
“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter”
Principal McGee (actress Eve Arden) said in the 1950s nostalgia movie musical Grease (1978): "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." An athletic supporter is also a…