“When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: He hasn’t any”
American novelist and journalist Edgar Watson Howe (1853-1937) wrote as one of his "Country Town Sayings" in 1911: "When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: He…
Archive for 04/2016
“Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu? Diner: What kind of font is this?”
A typical restaurant question can have a jocular answer: Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu?Diner: Yes. What kind of font is this? The joke was popularized by American actor Rainn…
“Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?”/“Because they lactose.”
"Lactose" sounds like "lack toes," prompting the pun: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?A: Because they lactose. “Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose"…
“What did one worm say to the other?”/“I’m moving to the Big Apple!”
Worms are sometimes found inside apples. There's a joke: Q: What did one worm say to the other?A: I'm moving to the Big Apple! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. Google…
“Who made the first soft drink?”/“Adam—he made Eve’s cherry pop.”
"Cherry pop" can mean a cherry soda, but it also has a sexual meaning. An old joke is: Q: Who made the first soft drink? A: Adam -- he made Eve's cherry pop. The joke was popular by…
Buchanan: Chernobyl on the Hudson (Indian Point Energy Center nickname)
The Indian Point Energy Center at Buchanan, New York, has frequently been called a "Chernobyl on the Hudson (River)." The Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in the Ukraine had a disaster in…
City Series (Mets vs. Yankees)
A baseball "Subway Series" is when a New York National League team (such as the New York Mets, but also formerly the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Giants) plays the New York American…
Trolley Series (1889 World Series, Brooklyn Bridegrooms vs. New York Giants)
A baseball "Subway Series" is when a New York National League team (such as the New York Mets, but also formerly the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Giants) plays the New York American…
“Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?” (joke)
A joke about English teachers is: "Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail? She got a full sentence." The pun was cited on Twitter on August 5, 2013. “I wanted to marry…
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today”
"Don't/Never let yesterday take/use up too much of today" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today" was included…
“There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else”
American humorist and illustrator Don Herold (1889-1966) was quoted in Life magazine in January 19, 1922: "There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the…
Colored People’s Time (CP Time or CPT)
"Colored people's time" (a later time than scheduled) is often regarded offensive slang, deriding black people as lazy. For example, if church is scheduled to start at noon, it might…
“What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?”/“Chicken sees a salad.”
Chicken caesar salad has a joke: Q: What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?A: Chicken sees a salad (chicken caesar salad). "What did the chicken say to the farmer about his lettuce…
“He speaks English with the flawless imperfection of a New Yorker”
Gilbert Millstein (1915-1999) wrote about Manhattan's famed French restaurant Lutèce (at 249 East 50th Street from 1961 to 2004) in Esquire magazine in January 1962: "He (founder Andre…
“The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand”
"The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand" is a popular one-line verse that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. The drinking expression was used in three…
“Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery”
"Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery" is a saying that has been attributed to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) and that has been printed on…
“Capitalism without failure is like religion without sin. It doesn’t work”
One unnamed Reagan administration regulator was against bailing out America's savings and loans, saying in June 1981, "Capitalism without failure is like Christianity without hell."…
“A little government involvement is just as dangerous as a lot”
Libertarian presidential candidate Harry Browne (1933-2006) wrote in Why Government Doesn't Work (1995): "A little government involvement is just as dangerous as a lot -- because the…
“Republicans campaign like Libertarians and govern like Democrats”
Libertarian presidential candidate Harry Browne (1933-2006) said in October 2005, "Republicans campaign like Libertarians and govern like Democrats." That is, Republicans campaign on a…
First City of the West (Minneapolis); Last City of the East (St. Paul)
The city of Minneapolis (MN) is on the west side of the Mississippi River, and St. Paul (MN) is on the east side. It's often said of these Twin Cities that Minneapolis is the "First City…