“Laughter is the best medicine” (proverb)
"Laughter is the best medicine" is an old proverb that comedians and comedy clubs sometimes remind audiences with. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up…
Archive for 04/2016
“I’m with stupid”
"I'm with stupid" is a saying that has been printed on many T-shirts and posters, usually with an arrow or finger pointing to the "stupid" person. "I'm with…
I-95 Primary (Northeast presidential primaries)
The U.S. presidential primaries on Tuesday, April 26, 2016, held in the states of Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island, were dubbed the “I-95 Primary." Interstate…
“Where do monkeys exercise?”/“At the jungle gym.”
A children's "jungle gym" doesn't involve an actual jungle, but there's a joke: Q: Where do monkeys exercise?A: At the jungle gym. The joke -- different animals are…
“A blowfly goes into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version with a fly is: "A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: 'Is that stool…
“What do you call a Drosophila who likes to drink?”/” A bar fly.”
A "bar fly" is a person who sits at a bar (and is not an actual fly), but there's a joke: "What do you call a Drosophila who likes to drink? A bar fly." The joke was cited…
“Teacher: ‘You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?’ Pupil: ‘Not very much!’”
A pun about "missing" school is: TEACHER: You missed school yesterday, didn't you? PUPIL: Not very much! The joke has been printed in many newspapers since at least 1942. “Boss:…
“Mother: What did you learn in school today? Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
An old joke has a parent ask a child about the day in school: Mother: What did you learn in school today?Son: Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
Yuge (huge)
"Yuge' (or "yooge") for "huge" has been a part of New York speech. Boxing promoter Bob Arum (born in New York City in 1931), said in 1995, "the biggest-grossing…
“Shortbread—They’re not making it any longer”
"Shortbread -- They're not making it any longer" is a popular joke about shortbread -- a type of biscuit that is still being made. The joke was cited on Twitter on September 6, 2010…
“What kind of bee gives milk?”/“A boobie.”
A milk joke is: Q: What kind of bee gives milk?A: A boobee (boobie). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokesthe beeJ. Johnson 4/14/97(...)Reminds me…
“The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe”
Members of a "flat earth society" don't believe that the world is round. A joke went viral in February 2016: "The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe." The…
Acela Primary or Amtrak Primary (Northeast presidential primaries)
The U.S. presidential primaries on Tuesday, April 26, 2016, held in the states of Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island, were dubbed the "Amtrak Primary" or…
“There was an early bird special, so I ordered Archaeopteryx”
An "early bord special" has nothing to do with eating an "early bird," but there's a joke: "There was an early bird special at the diner, so I ordered…
“What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”/“A stick.”
There's an old joke about boomerangs: Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google News Archive4 February…
“Performing since the Dead Sea was only sick” (a long time)
An old joke or an old person is truly old if it or he had been around "since the Dead Sea was only sick." "You was born before the Dead sea was taken sick" was cited in print in…
“You can’t pick your friends’ noses”
It's a simple bit of civics: "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses." The silly saying has an unknown origin.…
“Statistics are like ladies of the night. Once you get them down, you can do anything with them”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 16 October 1984, The Times of India (New Delhi), "Current Topics, pg. 6, col. 2:MARK TWAIN once remarked that statistics are like ladies of the night. You can bend…
“A chemist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemist version is: "A chemist walks into a bar and asks, 'Do you have any…
“Who’s the patron saint of email?”/“St. Francis of a CC.”
A popular email joke about the term "cc" (carbon copy) is: Q: Who's the patron saint of email?A: Francis of a CC. Saint Francis of Assisi (1181-1226) never sent an email, of course.…