“What kind of bar do fish go to?”/“A sand bar.”
A bar joke about fish is: Q: What kind of bar do fish go to?A: A sand bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. DCEmulationBad JokesRoofusPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2003 11:50 am…
Archive for 03/2016
“You don’t need a parachute to skydive” (joke)
"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice" is a jocular line that has been printed on ecards. The line has been cited in print since at least…
“An infra-red photon walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A photon version is: "An infra-red photon walks into a bar and says, 'Is it hot…
“Two dragons walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dragon version is: "Two dragons walk into a bar. One dragon says, 'It’s warm…
“The NSA walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke involving the National Security Agency (NSA) is: "The NSA walks into a bar.…
“You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t quit the game” (Ginsberg’s Theorem)
The Laws of Thermodynamics were translated into everyday English in Astounding Science Fiction in November 1953: "You can't win." (The Law of Conservation of Energy.) "You…
“Energy equals milk chocolate squared”
Albert Einstein (1879-1955) wrote the famous formula of mass-energy equivalence of "E=mc2" or "energy equals mass times the speed of light (squared)." Chocolate -- the chocolate…
“A mole walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A science joke is: "A mole walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Sorry, we…
“Math puns are the first sine of madness”
"Math puns are the first sine of madness" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and coffee mugs. "Mathematic puns are the first sine…
“A neutrino walks through a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A neutrino walks through a bar" is a popular version. "So this neutrino…
“Summer is two weeks of bad sledding”
"Summer is two weeks of bad sledding" is how the summer season is jocularly described in some cold places, such as Buffalo (NY) and Canada. For slightly warmer regions, summer can be…
“Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke about the Bechdel test is: "Two women walk into a bar, and talk about the…
“A tradition unlike any other” (The Masters golf tournament)
The Augusta (GA) National Golf Club is home to The Masters golf tournament. The slogan of "A Tradition Unlike Any Other" was trademarked in 2015, with a first use in 1989. CBS television…
“Why did the feminist fail algebra?”/“She couldn’t solve inequalities.”
A mathematics joke involving equalities is: Q: Why did the feminist fail algebra?A: She couldn't solve inequalities. The joke was first cited on reddit on August 18, 2015. Wikipedia:…
“I doubt vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot”
"I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and ecards. "Tequila…
“Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck”
Stephen Colbert said in a "Stephen's Sound Advice" comedy segment on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report on June 3, 2008: "Try an internship. Internships give you all the…
Eggspresso (egg + espresso)
An "eggspresso" (egg + espresso) is a shot of espresso inside of a chocolate Easter egg. Campos Coffee (Australia) tweeted about its "eggspresso" on April 4, 2012. Karvan Coffee…
“I made love for an hour and fifteen minutes. We turned the clocks ahead”
American comedian Garry Shandling (1949-2016) told a joke on a comedy special in 1989: ''I made love for an hour and 15 minutes. Well, it was on the day you push the clocks ahead."…
“What do you call a circle of $100 bills?”/“Aretha Franklins.”
The United States one hundred-dollar bill has American founding father Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790) on the obverse side of the bill. There is a joke: Q: What do you call a circle of US $100 bills?…
“Jesus walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A joke involving Jesus (who can turn water into wine) is: "Jesus walks into a bar and…